Nothing is going well.

Guys. It's gone downhill ever since I went to junior high. Now I'm about to graduate college and I'm not sure if I even picked the right career. I don't have and never had a job. I don't have friends. Never had a boyfriend. Don't have references. Don't have money. But most of all I don't have the will to try anymore. Because it seems that every time I try, I fail. And getting beaten down so many times, it makes it hard to get back up. I'm just so tired of life and failing at life. I'm not doing anything right. I'm not happy. But I'm also not sad either. It's been so long that at this point all I can feel is apathy and bitter disappointment. Sigh. I thought writing would help me get some motivation but really, what in the world am I doing with my life? It just feels so wasted and worthless and I wish I was never born. I truly do believe that the world would be a better place without me in it. Because, as is, aren't I just a waste of space right now? A disappointment to my parents who gave me everything but I failed to give anything back. Just a good for nothing to everyone I've ever encountered. I really wish I had never existed. Because I don't want to continue on anymore. If this is what the rest of my life is going to look like, what's the point? Sigh. I'm not suicidal. Just have a bleak outlook on life. Like I'm just going through the motions. I wish something would change. Anything. Something big would be set into motion. Like I get a job. Or a bf. Or even a friend. Good things. Sigh. I guess it's back to my mundane life.