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Being a teenager in high school, or even middle school, is hard. When you talk to adults about it, they think you are just exaggerating. However, that is far from the case, and I understand that because I went through the same exact thing as you might be going through. I'm writing this because not only am I stressed out, I want to help you.
When I was in middle school I was bullied by a group of girls who thought they were better than anyone and everyone. After over a year of hearing the cruel things they said about me, or even to me, I stopped listening to them. Instead, I starting believing them and it destroyed me as a person. I had no self esteem, I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone, and I believed I wasn't smart enough to compete with them. I became suicidal.
I was suicidal for a long time, sometimes even now. I contimpated taking pills multiple times. Often when I would be laying in bed at night I would wonder if anyone would care if I was gone. I remembered that I had read an article in health class on self harm. They said that it relieved stress and took your brain off the bad situation, so I tried it once. What I planned on doing just once, turned into hundreds of times. It became part of my daily schedule almost. I stopped for a while, but it didn't last long. From the time that I was in 7th grade until the summer going into 9th grade I self harmed.
I met a boy that I fell in love with, and he was the reason that I stopped and am clean for almost a year now. He encouraged me to tell my parents, so I did. They sent me to therapy where I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Although sometimes I dreaded going, it really was a tremendous help. But the biggest help I had was that boy, and he still is.
I regret doing these things, but they make me, me. I have come to accept the scars on my legs, wrists, arms, and hips. I can't change the past, and I most definitely can't remove the scars. Now I am discharged from therapy, but still struggling with anxiety. I have self confidence and I am happier than ever. The greatest feeling in the world is getting discharged from therapy because that's when you know that not only are you stable in your opinion, other people know you're stable.
If anyone ever has a problem like I did, my advice would be is to get help. Sometimes it might be embarrassing, but you won't regret getting the help. You have to tell someone, and anyone. It can be a teacher, a relative, a friend, anyone you are comfortable with. I would definitely help anyone who wanted it.
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