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I have been dealing with mental health issues for some time now. In the healing process, I decided to write a facebook message to an ex best friend of mine regarding a fight that we had gotten into months ago. It doesn't matter what the fight was about, but we both said some hurtful things. This is the message that I sent and the response that I got.
Hey I'm not going to say anything mean to you so don't worry... I don't owe you and apology or an explanation but I do owe it to myself to tell the truth and try to accept the truth. You were a great friend to me for such a long time and you have helped me through some tough times and I will always appreciate that. But unfortunately you weren't there to help me when I needed you the most at the time when I was battling four co morbid mental disorders. I was struggling severely with problems that have existed my entire life that had just recently been diagnosed. I was fighting a loosing battle with generalized anxiety ADHD bipolar 2 and sensory processing disorder. In a time where I was fighting for my life everyday and didn't feel like I had a reason to keep living in this life, I needed support more than ever. But instead of getting this support, I was met with actions that only confirmed my existing beliefs that I was completely alone in life and didn't have any reason to keep living. When I was fighting the voices inside my head that were telling me that I was worthless and no one liked me, I was met with your words confirming the reasons that no one liked me because I got "too excited". Well yeah that is a major symptome of bipolar mania so that's not something that I can change. Anyway after a few hospital stays, loads of meds, a new support system, and an amazing care team, I'm on the right track for the time being. You helped me get through some hard times in high school and the begining of college so I will choose to remember those times. If you have questions about anything I will do my best to answer them but if they are not constructive, please don't reply.
I am a good friend and I am a loyal friend who genuinely cares so much about my friendships. If you ever told me you were going through a hard time I would have been there helping and supporting you in a second. I was never told that you were going through a hard time (or hearing these voices in your head), but your disorders reflected a very mean behavior on me. I did not deserve the words you said or being called a “narcissist.” You took your own insecurities and you dumped them on me in a horrible way. I also would forgive you in a second for how you treated me (because it is now clear that there were reasons to your words that were beyond anything having to do with me), but I see that you are not sorry for what you/your disorders said to me. I wish you luck in figuring out a healthy and happy life style with the diagnosis. I’m sorry all this had to happen to you, but Im sure you will get through it
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I went through something similar. This made me cry. Good for you speaking up for yourself, that shows that you have strength!!!
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