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Okay, so here's the thing.
I was once in a deep love with a man who besides little bit of flirting and glances never really was into me. He didn't want to be with me, even though I'v tried everything. I've never said out loud that I wanted him, but I did everything to make him feel that way. In the end, I've kept my pride and dignity, and I just left.
At first I was really depressed, my hair started to fall out, I felt worthless and stupid. I've cried a lot, because at certain points of our 'relationship' I thought we could be together, but he always kinda rejected me.
Three months have passed, and because the feeling wasn't mutual, I think I managed to get back on my feet again. I started to heal, and think about him that someone who I am still attracted to, respect, but I don't want him anymore in my life.
So now I have the choice that because of work, I could see him weekly again. I have another choice, where we almost never meet, only at the end of the year, maybe once.
The temptation is real. I keep thinking about him again, and wondering what power does he still have on me. I keep thinking what could happen if I see him again. I secretly hope that he changed his mind about me, but I just know that if he did, my whole year would be ruined. These three months when he didn't even ask about me, these three months I suffered would be nothing.
But what if things changed anyway? What if I see him and I see nothing but friendship here?
I'm afraid of never seeing him again, but also afraid of what if I fall in love again helplessly with someone who never wanted me.
What would you do?
A) Keep seeing him again, working together few times a week
B) 'Never' see him again (there is a chance we meet, but highly unlikely)
And also: if I choose B, it is like a message for him, that after everything that happened between us, I don't want to work with him again.
If I choose A, the message is that I want to work with him.
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Why are you asking other people for this? The one who really knows what would be the best choice for you is yourself. As the saying goes, "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst". Now I am asking you, after everything, are you ready to feel "rejected" again? I am a guy myself and if I decide that I want nothing more than a friendship with someone, then I won't try to go beyond that.You said that on those three months he didn't even try to reach you? I am not trying to make you lose any hope of course as I have nothing to do with this but sometimes you have to see it for what it is, not what you hope for. If you choose A, if anything happens like if he rejects you again, will you be able to focus on your work? If you choose B, are you ready to move on and just let any hope go?Another saying "Don't put your key to happiness on someone else's pocket". Don't make your choices depend on anyone else. It's your happiness that is important.
ReplyThanks for the reply. I don't ask people for making a decision for me. I'm asking advice. I'm interested in other people's experiences, their thoughts. When I wrote it down, I knew I've already made the decision, but I felt I needed to write it down and ask random people to clear my thoughts.
I am a rational person and I like to think through my decisions before I do something I would regret just beause my heart tells me to make a complete idiot of myself. You know.
But again, I appreciate you took your time to put something to it.
ReplyI have never been in love with anyone who I had a mere glance here and there.
Nor would someone like you just from a glance.
Just because you like the looks of someone does not equal love.
I never tried to get anyone's attention like that ever....I have never chased anyone.
If someone likes you they would make it clear.
If you had a relationship and it ended then I would say no don't work with them.
ReplyIt was not just glances, but it doesn't matter know. Thanks!
ReplyI dont care about youBut He cares. He already loves you before you already exists. He is waiting for you to go to him. He gave you his own son as a gift. With that gift he gave you , you can do anything even healing your broken heart. He is the eternal God. And with his son Christ you are with him. He wants you to be healed and be comforted. I can't really help you, Im only your replica . Im pointing you to the one who defeated death and his father that has been always there. You can ask him. He'll do somethin
ReplyThanks for your concern, I'm okay with God and Jesus, but now I needed to contact with my fellow humans.
ReplyIf you are looking for advice or another persons point of view I'll give you mine.. I would usually reply to follow your heart but through reading the thread, I see your just curious to others peoples point of view. So if it was me, I would not work with him again. The wound is closing, I wouldn't open it up again. If he had or has an attraction towards you he could and would tell you directly.. That's just my opinion. I could be wrong..
ReplyThank you. I agree with you that if someone wants us they find a way. We had our moments but he let it slip away. He let me go. I know what I should do, but it is hard decision, you know. I know exactly what would happen if I choose to continue working with him. Not good. I guess I'm grieving my 1% chance... or less. Still feels like crap
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