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Today is the start of my second month in my new role as an accountant. I started last month full of enthusiasm with the hopes that I could bring some of my learnings and improve the processes. I thought that the previous role I had was already a very difficult one that anything that will follow after it was a piece of cake. I was wrong.
I wanted to be promoted asap. I need it before I get married and have other priorities in life. I am nearing the age of thirty and the pressure to get married and have a child is on.
I worked hard in my previous years in the company. I worked overtime and even on weekends. I learned fast that way. I became an expert to what I handle. However, my managers were not satisfied about it. They introduced and emphasized the idea of working smart. That I was on a level that I am not just a doer but already a team leader. I failed horribly.
After 3 years of repetitive working hard (not smart), I broke down. That's when I was transferred to another manager. This manager was a special one. She did not press things to me. She lets me be but still guided me on focusing on the more important things like team development. My confidence slowly rise to the point where in each task I do, I challenge first if this is sustainable or will this be just another dreadful year of repetitive working hard (not smart) years.
I then moved to my current role now. I felt enthusiastic and eager to bring in something to the table. I am overflowing with ideas. I tried to bring them to my peers and current manager but it feels that I am not convincing them well enough. I am not driving action and it worries me.
Today, I am demotivated to work. I have a lot on my plate and being new and not an expert isn't helping. The drive to understand first versus just completing the job is a tough one to manage. I do not want to overwork (again). I have learned well enough that it doesn't really help in productivity.
I wanted to finish all of them but I also wanted to understand them. Asking the experts about the job is my usual solution. I walk the floor to talk to them face to face or over a phone. This way, I manage understand and also complete the job.
The environment however is "busy". People are working on their own stuff that I can only ask for favors from the people I know and worked with before. I do not want to disturb them of course but my battle on this role has already began.
My manager is amazing too. He know the ins and outs of the financial world but I see my previous self in him. He works hard even on weekends and sometimes sacrifice time for his family. Don't get me wrong, if this is his strategy then I'm good with it but I cannot reapply it to myself. I've been there and do not want to go back.
I wanted to bridge my team to think ahead and focus on our plans for the year. That this is more important than just completing the job and finishing the day. I've seen it worked well before so I was hoping that it could alleviate the state of busyness and dissatisfaction.
Then again, I have my own stuff to manage and they are piling up. I wanted to organize them and plan ahead but the effort of doing so may make me more busy. I took a lot of training before. I had time management and even 7 Habits of Highly effective people but all seem to be difficult to apply now.
I have decided that to win the battle, I have to equip myself by studying on my own. I just hope that it won't take enough time that I realized, the fiscal year has ended already and I have not accomplished anything (again).
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