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I'm almost ready. With every crest of the roller coaster, a vast valley looks with darkness and despair. The worst part is the knowledge that every crest is smaller, and every valley deeper. And knowing that every time I sink into the darkness, my heart dies a little bit more. How long before there's nothing left but a dirty broken object without the roses' red bloom breathing the semblance of life into it? How long before it's dead.? And I nothing more than a shambling shade void of love and laughter?
I cannot feel the goods times without despair standing near, tapping my shoulder and reminding me that he is there, that the happiness never lasts. That the only TRUTH is HIM...tapping my shoulder, grinning, and waiting.
I just want to be worth something. I want to not ruin everything I touch. I want to quit disappointing my family. But I know I will just keep screwing up.
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Hey, I get that. I cant offer anything in terms of advice or support, but I know that reading this i felt better that i wasnt alone
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