Unworthy

Grown up in a very restricted environment I became very sensitive towards anything and everything. I don’t know when it started but I am my biggest discourager. I grew up feeling unworthy people leave me hurt me hate me whatever it is o always made sure i acknowledging that it’s my fault am not worthy. I loved a guy deeply I trusted and loved someone so badly. He was best, he took care of me well I never had to feel that m alone . He is the first one that comes to my mind if I had any thing to share my happiness or grief. He loved me way so much. Hi sorry parents did not approve of us because am dark and fat. Their taunts hurted me so deeply. After all the struggle he finally gave up stating he can’t convince them anymore. I tried to kill myself more than 5times my body has scars . All I wanted in my life was only him. After an year I still cry every day thinking about him I call Him and beg him . I feel so lost. Why am I so unlucky. He is the only guy I loved. He says I m selfish and sadistic that I think only about myself not about parent so n family. I wake up everyday wanting it to be my last. People may judge me for this but only I know what I m actually going through.