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You, yes, you the boy that used to tell me how ugly I was. You, the human being that felt the need to make me feel like I was worthless in order to show how cool you are. Because it made you feel good and worthy of some attention. Maybe to you, high school sounds like a loooong time ago. You probably even think you are now all grown up and refer to this time as “ when you were young and stupid”. Let me highly doubt about it. You never had the respect to apologize for what you’ve done. Even though we met.
Let me tell you, I’ve learned to live with it. I’ve tried so many times to convince myself that “ I’m better than that” nonetheless my progress, some excuses or even slightest impression of some remorse might’ve helped. You know dealing with the feeling I felt worthless and didn’t deserve to live.
I look back at this time now and I’ve distanced myself. ( might not look at it, but trust me I did). However, not a single day passes by that I don’t think about it, how I was feeling, how I was lonely and wanted to die.
Honestly, I’m not here to hate on you, I simply wanted to share to you how you made me feel. How that “ lack of maturity from you” impacted me, even few years later. How I am still unable to talk about my high school to my therapist without crying. I can’t blame you for everything that happened bad in my life. But I wished you’d at least acknowledge your part, as the “ grown up man” you are now.
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