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My mom has had cancer for over a year, and I have needed a way to get my feelings on it out, I just feel like I need to be strong for my sisters.... But I can't, so here I go....
My mom was diagnosed with it on my 13th birthday and didn't even get to be at the party because she was in the hospital... I'm 14 now and have recently learned that she may not...... Um may not make it to Christmas. I've been trying to keep my feelings inside, bottle it up you know? But that doesn't work. I need to let it out but I can't without feeling useless to help in the situation. I'm trying to keep believing and keep praying and hoping, but I FREAKING CAN'T. I CAN'T BE STRONG, I CAN'T BE ok... Everyone keeps saying that I've matured so quickly, that I'm so strong... In reality I'm not. Thanks for reading this....
-huglife
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My goodness, you need a huge virtual hug sweetie. So here it is! ***SQUEEZE**.
Ok, now that we have that out of the way. I'm just plain sorry you are in such a suckish situation, especially at your age. At any age it sucks. It sounds like you have been super strong, and you are so caring and supportive of your sisters, and your mom. But, you need some attention too. It sounds like you really need to talk to someone. Do you have an older family member you can talk to and just let your feelings out to? This is a wonderful place that you have come to write this out, but talking in person can be super helpful too. If you don't have a family member you feel comfortable with, maybe a counselor or someone from school, or a good friend. But, keeping the feelings bottled up isn't best in the long run. In order to stay strong and healthy not just for your sisters and mother, but very importantly for you, you need to be able to vent your emotions. We are more than happy to listen here. But, having someone close to you is even better. Also, your feelings have nothing to do with how 'mature' you are. 50 year old Marines or Army guys can still be brought to tears when they hear their Mother has cancer. So, don't you worry about displaying your feelings. It is healthy. So, you hang in there. You have our thoughts, prayers, and support. :-)
ReplyThank you so much for that! I really appreciate it.
ReplyOf course, any time. If you need a little support, just reply to this comment any time. I try and check on this site several times a day. Just know that people care about you. It sounds like you have a wonderful family. They want to see you happy and healthy, more than they want to see you being 'mature' or 'strong'. :-)
ReplyThank you very much.
ReplyI have lost many including my dad to cancer a battle he fought for 14 years
The thing that keeps me most in good spirits is I know I took every chance I had to tell him how much he meant to me and to just remember his arms around me. He taught me there is such a thing as gentle strength and that tears are not weakness.
ReplyI feel the same way as you.....I need to cry and i need to scream but i dont know where or even why sometimes but i need it. And its okay if you're not strong, its okay if your sad or afraid or anything else, just do it.
Do it!
cry and scream or shout all you want because once you do everything will be better....
Or once you start talking about it, it gets better i promise.
Oh and by the way hang in there, thats what i should be telling myself all the time.
But at least you've got people to tell you that.
ReplyThank you. It helps me to be reminded sometimes that im not alone in this.
Reply