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It seems like people only care when it's bad
When my mind won't shut up
and my hands won't stop tingling
and my face is numb
and I can't help but give in
and I can't sleep
and it's bad
They think the solution is an invitiation that
wraps around my throat
and threatens me to deny the extended white flag yet
how do I comply when I know I can't
and it's bad
They are confused by how I work
but they accept my claims of improvement without validity
and I learn how to continue pretending
and wearing my mask
and ensuring that it's not too bad
but it is
and it's bad
I cling to the feeling that one day it may not be so
one day the sun will rise
my eternal night disappears
and behind a shroud of shame I can emerge
and I can lock away to night
and only live in day
but it's bad
The criss-crossed lines of my skin promise relief
but I won't give in
and I swear I won't give is
but it's bad
But it's bad
and it's bad
and it's bad
But I sit watching the storm of myself wreak havoc
and I can't stop wondering how it's going to be afterwards
but I can't stop it
but I can enjoy the scent of rain
the warm, lung-filling breath that promises sunshine for days
and I can't stop it
But it's only bad for now
but I can wait it out
but I can enjoy the rain
but I will enjoy the rain
I have to
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Beautiful, love it. When I read it, i left out the word "and" that began every verse.
ReplyCan I ask why you left out "and"? I kept it in because it doesn't necessarily seem like it belongs, kinda like how I experience my depression (always nagging yet making everything a bit more "clumsy").
ReplyThere were just to many for me. It read better for me without them. I love your writing. Its raw, real and you make so poetic.
ReplyBeautiful
Reply