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It has been two months since we have broken up, and today is the day he goes on a cruise. More than two months is how long it has been since I have seen him last, and I count as each day passes. It's the best for both of us to be apart, but we both love each other too deeply to let each other go. We text every day and night acting like we're doing okay but secretly we're falling apart without each other. Knowing he's in another state single makes me nervous and breaks my heart. Today he left for his cruise with his family, and every part of me is worried. He promised to not do anything and he promised to behave. He told me he still loves me and doesn't plan on moving on, but things happen. I'm nervous for anything to happen. I'm praying for nothing to happen. I know that it has been two months, but knowing we both love each other hurts me knowing he might meet someone new. It hurts when two people are in love with each other but knowing there's no possible ways to work it out, and that's the situation I'm in right now. As I read on twitter "It's normal to miss some one when you're lonely and sad, but missing someone when you're busy having fun, that's true affection," and that's how I feel every single day. It was Christmas yesterday and I was having fun with family, but I felt like I was missing something, and it was him. I go to work every day and he's on my mind every minute of it. We are both hurting but we have to deal with the pain. Even in another state, he's thinking about coming back and seeing me and making it work AGAIN, but I know that won't happen. He told me about all the gifts he got me even though we're broken up, and it hurts me. It all hurts me. Every single day without him hurts me. And right now it's the middle of the night and I'm praying he isn't having too much fun on his cruise, and as much as it makes me sound selfish, I just don't want him to do anything he will regret when he comes back. He's hurt and he'll be drunk having fun, and god knows what girls will do or he will... so I'm praying. There's still a little bit of hope for us, but the second one of us moves on, that hope will be gone. I haven't moved on in these two months and neither has he, but maybe everything will change in the next few days. I just pray everything turns out great in the end. I'm hurting and I need a sign from god whether he's the one for me or not because I can't take the pain of not knowing. Should I move on or not? Should he move on or not?
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