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All I do is daydream about having a best friend. Someone who would be with me no matter what, and me the same.
To be clear, I have friends. A friend group of maybe, 10 people? I really want to find a different crowd. I know I’m lucky to even have friends but I just don’t think they really care about me, or like me in general. I thought everything was fine, until two of my friends made offhanded remarks about not wanting to sit with the “boring one.” That’s when I started to realise everyone really did treat me differently to most others. In a particular subject, not all 10 could fit on one table, we had to split up into groups. People would be perfectly happy sitting at a certain table until I walked over to sit there, then they would all try and cram onto the table away from me. People would come and sit with me for sympathy. They clearly like others in the group more than me, which is fine, everyone has their preferences. It’s just, NOBODY really thinks of me as their favourite. I know that sounds bratty, but for all my life all I wanted was someone who invited to hang because they wanted to, rather than because I was part of a cohort of people they like more. I just want someone to hang out with after school, someone to joke around with, someone I don’t have to prove my worth to. The thing is, my friends tell me they care every time I stupidly blurt out my insecurities about my place in the friend group, but they don’t SHOW it in their behaviour. I have to take initiative to hang with someone, and often they turn me away. I want to find new friends that I really, really love and care about, and them the same, but I don’t want to leave my old group. I care about them... some of them.. I just need more. And I don’t want to be alone, or stuck without a friend group at all. Also, I feel my insecurities about everything will mean that nothing anyone says will change anything. (My friends really don’t care about me though, I’d believe them if they acted like they cared.)
Does anyone have advice on what to do next? I really need some advice. Thanks for listening to me rant.
😬
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Side note: it’s gotten to the point where this is obsessive. I obsess over having a best friend, or maybe even something more than friends. It’s painful for me to watch any teen show, because they always have such good friends. I’m afraid to let down my happy facade yet again, in fear my friends will cut me out further because I’m too annoying.
ReplyYou're not annoying.
Replydude, i want you to know that multiple people feel this exact way, including myself. you are not alone. though what i dont know is what to do next. ive been just slowly drfting away. i found another group but im still with the other. the time i spend with my new group is the time im happiest. most of the time, when im with my old group, i feel like absolute shit and it sucks. it feels like im not even there when i try to contribute to the conversation. :/ i understand and i also feel selfish for feeling these feelings. but i think its ok to feel this way. good luck <3
ReplyIf you feel like the current people around you don’t really care it’s definitely time to change some things. From what I’m reading it looks like talking to them hasn’t really helped.. how about joining a new activity or some sort of class where you can actually meet new people. Try going out on your own to new places and talking to new people.. it might take some time and you may even make some mistakes but I’m sure you’ll find a good friend or two along the way.
Don’t try and talk to groups. Try and meet individual people. People can have a certain personality when they are alone and a completely different one when they are with other people.
Hope this helps.
ReplyI'm so sorry you feel like this! I want you to know that I care like crazy about you. I would be your best friend if we were near each other :) I've always wanted to have a friend to hang with like other people. I barely ever hang with the friend group I have although they are all very sweet.
ReplyPS no one should be treating you like "the boring one". It sounds like you may have boring friends.
Reply