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I have done a lot of things over my lifetime. im going to tell you the truth, im a junky. I was addicted to cocaine, but today im clean. I have been clean for 7 months, and I plan to remain clean. the thing is that im a college student im 21 years old. I study medicine and over the past time I was a 4.0 average student. now after a heart attack, im not kidding I almost died, im in a different city stating from scratch. I started at a new university, at first semester. I will start in 10 days, and honestly I am extremely scarred. I have to start again, to relearn the things I learned, to meet again students that are much younger that me. all because I made mistakes and fell into drug addiction. I returned to a city a swore that I would never return to, but today I have to do so because I f**k up so hard on my own. to star over again, knowing what I have done, the things I did because I was lost, for drugs or the f**k up mindset that being popular was the thing to do. for some time I lived my life according to the old words, sex drugs and rock and roll. I almost died, I have had sex with more people (I didn't care if they were men or women) that I can remember, and I partied hard. now I regret all. I had a hard life. I was raped, at a young age, abused by my stepfather who used to beat me, all because I wanted to protect my mother. I always thought that I wasn't born to be happy and drugs were the escape to that. I had to fight to survive, my family, my friends, all the people that I knew. all the people that I knew were dilers. the only thing we khew how to doy was to sell drugs, to party and sex, to forget our lives. most of my friends have died, all because we wanted to forget, the f**king live we had had. Im afraid.
pleas I don't want to use again or to fall.
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I truly hope you can forgive yourself. Does it really matter that you're a couple years older than the other students? At your age, no one will really know the difference. I was addicted to meth and also drank too much alcohol and nearly died too. We all make big mistakes and have to forgive ourselves. There's no reason to keep beating up on yourself. You're still so young and you'll catch up. You'll be in my prayers. Much Love!
Replythanks mate.i was truly planing in jumping off. I Was looking at the edge thinking about my mates, about the things she did to me. and I read your comment, it sounds dumb but it saved my life. thanks. I don't know who you are but thanks. to you giddyChristian and you man I don't know you both saved my life.
ReplyI don’t know who you are but I know a lot about addiction. One of my old friends is a meth addict.
What ever you are going through, you are loved. Addiction is not something you can break by moving to a new city.
Something happened that your trying to fill, Ik your pain bro. I’m a 20 year old who has no one. I’ve never been in a relationship because I was sexually abused as a child and relationships terrify me but I promise one day it’s gonna get better.
Next time you wanna use just remeber that there is someone who took time out of his life to message you and tell you that your life is worth something, get up and scream at the top of your lungs.
“I am perfect”
“I am loved”
“I have everything I need to be happy”
It sounds cheesy but this is what I do and it helps. I wish I could help more. If you wanna talk just respond I’d be happy to spend some more time here.
Replythanks mate.i was truly planing in jumping off. I Was looking at the edge thinking about my mates, about the things she did to me. and I read your comment, it sounds dumb but it saved my life. thanks. I don't know who you are but thanks. to you giddyChristian and you man I don't know you both saved my life.
ReplyWe didn’t save your life, you did. We just showed you the light. You made the sacrifice to follow it! ❤️
~ 👼
ReplyMe again. My reason for drinking was because of severe depression, so I kind of get it. I needed the escape from feeling depressed. I overcame the drug addiction and alcohol abuse before finding God, but I know he's helped thousands beat their addiction. He's mostly healed my depression, and I often feel happy now, and before I just wanted to end it. Maybe you don't believe in God, but I can guarantee that if you turn your life over to him, he will heal your addiction and help you stay clean. I hope that doesn't offend you. I wish the best for you!
(/^_^)/
ReplyI always thought that God was with me. I felt so alone today, and I asked God to help me. Before ending it something told me to read what I had written, to me both of you helped me, to khow that somebody cares it stoped me from jumping. thanks. I can't tell you how much. please if you what, can we please keep talking.
ReplyOf course, I got all night
Replymate, thanks. im still afraid. you know, starting over. mate can we speak on an other way that is not novni, wa, facebook, email or whatever. first of all thanks, for being there, for the help, HE is always there and some how HE illuminated you, and you wrote to me. man its hard the desire for the "Perez" that's how we call it in my country. its hard mate but you helped my remind myself that the powder is not the way, that my fiends lives are their own, I know it sounds awful but somebody cares about me and im living my live also for them. the things that happened happened, she Did awful thing to me but, f**k it, Thanks mate.
to tell you im from Colombia, that's why I have spelling errors, jajaja. Mate Im Thousands of miles away, and still im so grateful that you are there
ReplyStill the same guest user here, I’m still here to talk. Ik you feel alone. I feel it to.
What’s on your mind?
Replyhaving a cigarette, still thinking of the new start in medicine. This career is hard and having to start all over is the worst. also knowing that I did so many things I now regret. you know the things I did, Perez was the worst thing I ever did. Im afraid but im little hope full to start a new.
Reply