My nightmare ends when I fall asleep

I toss and turn inside my head

Nothing but feelings of pain and dread

These monsters surround me, they control me

They are my only company, for I’m so lonely

Happiness is a distant memory, it doesn’t even feel real anymore

I feel like these feelings have rotted me away to my core

I’ve dealt with pain, loss, shame, and feeling utterly hopeless

These feelings I cannot show, no one can know this

You may think these thoughts can relate to you

But I promise you that is not entirely true

I have lost the ones I loved in many ways

Some by their own hand and some passed with grace

But me, well I died on one very specific day

The day that I threw all my dreams away

I have no one to blame but the man I see in the mirror

The source of my pain could truly be no clearer

I am my own worst enemy, I killed myself mentally

The world did not help, it took away all that I love

And replaced it with problems that no one can solve

I do not want to die, I do not want to live

But I refuse to leave the ones that love me

In the same way that others chose to leave

My mind is a prison and I swallowed the key

Your nightmare never truly ends when your monster lives inside

Except when I sleep, and I dream of what I was meant to be