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I have a huge grant to write at work. Everyone is relying on me, and I will be going through hell writing it in the next week and a half, just like I've dragged myself through the last two major grants I wrote. I know it needs to get done, but I also have a ton of homework from the course I'm taking waiting for me at home and I know that I'll be spending a considerable amount of time all weekend working on it, and I just don't want to do any writing work right now. No matter how many times I tell myself that it's important for me to get started, I can't bring myself to actually start writing. Fear of mistakes and then looking like an idiot, I guess? Procrastination? I feel like a complete lazy bum, but I just can't make my body and brain do it. In the past when I've felt like this, I found the only way through it was to indulge myself with rest and leisure time for a good long while and then I could make myself productive again. But I feel really really bad about not getting much done at work. I've been doing little low-priority tasks and avoiding my big project. Ugh. What am I doing to myself?
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