What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I can’t take it anymore. There’s nothing I would rather do than just let go, let myself fall into that endless void of death. But I’m so scared of what death brings. What even is death? What happens after it? Will I just float around for all eternity, my mind free from my body? Or will I live another life, one that’s vastly different from this one right now, one that makes me not remember what happened in my life now? I don’t even know what death entails, which is why I’m scared to die. I want to just disappear, to curl up with just my thoughts for a year, or ten, or a hundred. I’m so scared that if I do kill myself, I’ll be able to see how everyone reacts. Whether it be from an out of body experience or some semblance of what Christians believe heaven is, I’m scared I’ll see my mom walk in one morning, telling me to get up and eat breakfast. I’m scared I’ll see how when my dad comes in, he leans over to kiss my forehead and realizes my whole body is still, my skin cold and ashen. I’m afraid I’ll see my brother rush out of his room, crying as he sees his kid sister laying in bed, not even knowing if it was one of his jokes that drove me over the edge. I don’t want to see my parents read the note telling them to text my friends, to call them to tell them what happened. I don’t want to see my best friend freeze in shock and despair as she finds out the one person who got her is now gone. I don’t want to see the pity assemblies they have, the murmuring students in the crowd saying “who was she?” I don’t want to see it, but I’m afraid I will. I’m even more scared that I won’t, that I’ll never know what happened to those I love.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
I know they’re trying
I know my parents are trying to help me. I know they’re worried about me and want me to have the best life possible. But whenever we’re together it’s like...
-
I don't know what to do.
I'm so lost. I've invested so much in my faith which I've been a strong follower of since childhood. But life has been so hard lately and God doesn't answer any...
I've had similar thoughts.
What keeps me going is those I love.
your right its always the ones that love you that suffer.
I don't know how deep your pain is, but I'm glad you realize that your life has meaning that you are loved.
I've been looking at self love videos and it has helped me, that and talking to people on here.
Reply