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heres the thing, im so scrared my life is going to be boring and pointless. the only thing keeping me alive right now is the hope of having an exciting life in the future. Im 16 and i havent had my first kiss yet. all i do is study i have strict parents and im think im depressed (i dont want to self diagnose) i started cutting last month in addition to my constant skin peelling on my fingers and continuously biting my lip till it pains so much. i cry a lot especially cuz i moved countries and i miss my old like SO MUCH! i find comfort in books and movies and tv shows but the same things i find comfort in scare me because my life is boring compared to that. I dont know how to make myself more exciting maybe that will make me happy but my parents barely let me out the house and im told to study but i feel like im losing the years i was supposed to enjoy. as a young girl i loved teenagers and i thought my life would be like the movies when im a teen but that was such a big dissappointment and im just sad. really sad. i want someone to talk to but my parents dont believe in depression and they just wouldnt understand what im going through, moving countries did so much to me that ive been crying myself to sleep for three years now. and i hate myself for feeling so sad because theres people with worse circumstances with me, im lucky to have a home and luxuries.
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You don’t always have to believe you are okay. You don’t always have to believe your fine. But you are indeed going through a time I did. And I still am. But the only advice I can muster up is this. JUST BECAUSE your parents or supervisors doesn’t believe in depression or anxiety doesn’t mean you don’t or otherwise it doesn’t exist. Please stop cutting, your skin isn’t paper, and your mind isn’t a stress ball. Don’t drown yourself in self doubt. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to release what’s been building up. Just get someone to listen to you. Get one of your friends or even teachers (if you are still in school or a learning program of sort). Think about it, is it really going to pay off self wallowing in the years you are supposed to enjoy? So crush the disappointment and cross the bridge when it comes.
(Very sorry, I’m not a professional.)
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