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It seems everyday I get a panic attack or something. I sometimes panicked before, but it was never this bad! I have a therapist but I only see her about once a month (I really haven't given her a reason to see her more often). I'm so confused.
My life goes up and down so quickly. One day, I'm happy. I brush my teeth, floss and wash my face twice a day. I can get out of bed easily and my self confidence is unlimited. Then something causes me to panic badly, not being able to focus in class, or math work being too hard, so the next few hours of the day are horrible. Now it's online class, so I know it's probably normal to not be focused, but I kept zoning out in class before covid was a thing. But now it's gotten worse. When I get panicked, I keep getting spasms of crying, then I calm down. Then I cry again sometimes without tears, get restless and sometimes need to kick my legs. and it keeps going on for atleast 10 minutes. I can't distract myself for long. I don't understand? I've never freaked out this bad before.
The first time I remember freaking out this badly was when I was in math again. I cried, then went to science, couldn't pay attention and started crying. It was on/off again until the end of the day. Then when I was putting away my clothes, the drawer was so messy and I began to get restless, something I had done earlier that day. But earlier it had gone away when I bounced my legs up and down. Then I panicked and ripped all of the clothes out of the drawer. My mom found me crying and she kinda calme me down and we went through my clothes. I took a shower and ate dinner so it was fine I guess?
I'm so confused. I'll link some other examples of my writing in the comments. Do you think I should ask if I have a mental illness or something?
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Here are some examples of my writing (Oldest to newest):
https://novni.com/letters/read/264245/why-am-i-like-this
https://novni.com/letters/read/264251/why-am-i-all-of-a-sudden-so-restless-and-impatient
https://novni.com/letters/read/264433/should-i-ask-my-therapist-if-i-have-adhd
https://novni.com/letters/read/265040/
ReplyIt sucks, but it’s normal for your mental health to fluctuate. If you feel like it’s not getting better, you could talk to your doctor/therapist about trying you on new medication. I hope you’re doing okay. 💙
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