What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I don't know how to describe what I am feeling right now other than embarrassment, awkwardness, and shame. I am so awkward and uncomfortable all the time. Why can't I just relax, take a breath, and chill?
Here's the background.
My best friends are 3 men that are 5-11 years older than I am. That is kinda weird and makes everybody talk. But we are honestly just friends. We are an odd group of people but we get along well and enjoy each other.
The problem is that I started to catch feelings for one of them over a year ago. He is 10 years older than me (yikes!). But before I went away, we were together all the time and shared nearly everything. We were great friends. Now it has been about a year and I am back. Those feelings never went away. I pledged to myself that I would stay single and focus on myself, my family, and God until June. I am trying so hard not to think about him in that way, and to suppress those feelings, but they are nagging and persistent. I'm sure he doesn't like me, but some other friends think he does. He knows about my pledge until June, so I guess we will see then. I'm trying not to feel that way, and trying not to think about it.
Now, lets talk about tonight.
I have been trying to allow people into my life more, and not shut them out so much. And so I got it in my head that that includes inviting people into my space. I never invite people to my house, ever. So, randomly I decide to invite those 3 guys over to watch the basketball game. Well, two of them were busy so only one could come. And guess which one that was?? You got that right, Dreamy Mc-thirty-one-year-old-son (and yes, that is his birth name haha).
I felt so weird about it. I already was overthinking it and uncomfortable inviting people over, but the only one that could come was him?? That feels too much like a date, even though my family was there. I was overthinking everything and super uncomfortable.
So, he shows up and eats a taco, and just sits at the kitchen table and chats with me and my mom for an hour and a half. (My grandpa and his best friend pop in and out, but they are focused on the game.) Honestly it wasn't bad, but I was just so anxious the whole time. What if I'm bothering him? He doesn't want to be here. He probably wants to leave. He just came as a favor to me. Is this a date? This is so weird. My grandpa and his friend are definitely going to think this is a date. I can't like him. This isn't allowed. So, I am weirdly uncomfortable and awkward, and this poor guy is just being so kind hanging out with me and my mom.
It probably wasn't so bad as it seems to me in my head, but it certainly feels that way. And whats worse? My grandpas best friend is now convinced that we are dating or will be soon, even though I insist that we are just friends and I am not going to be dating anyone anytime soon.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Pros & Cons Repost
I’m reposting this to add a piece of info about his family at the end. If you’ve already read this or we’re the kind soul who commented, thank you, keep r...
-
Boy Drama, Please HELP
We like each other for almost 10 months, we dated but had to break up due to some reasons, but we didn't want to break up, but we had to, In July, he started ac...
I forgot to mention, that when I walked him out I was overanalyzing everything, and so the only intelligible thing I said was thanks for coming. And I said it about a million too many times.
ReplySometimes love can help you.
If the feelings are nagging you and are persistent to a point that makes you anxious act on them even if you have a pledge until June. Anxiety could make your matter worse in ways you might not realise.
Follow your feelings, trust yourself.
ReplyAs a teenager I felt awkward for a little while but it went away.
ReplyAge is just a number, it’s ok to have feelings even if he is a lot older than you
Reply