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I didn’t realize how hurt I was.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been randomly crying and my body somehow stops me. My emotions are off. I don’t feel like myself but I like that I’m not the way I used to be.
This is trauma.
These days I really don’t trust too many people. It’s weird to experience trauma while trying to heal from other traumas. It makes you think different. Act & react differently. I don’t want to share my energy with anyone. No one deserves it tbh. I realize that my ability to commit is beautiful and I’ve been willing to commit to everyone else except for myself.
That’s not the case anymore.
I’ve given so much of myself. I’ll always be a giving person because that’s in my character. However not everyone deserves to experience me on personal levels & that’s okay.
I can’t believe I’ve been projected on for so long. I can’t believe that now that I’m standing up for myself, so many people are offended by it. Why was it okay for you to allow me to play a small role? To make you feel big? To make you feel comfortable ?
I refuse to hold myself back. I’m done shrinking. I will continue to build on this foundation of self because at the end of the day, it’s me and me forever.
Not to be pessimistic but that’s just the reality.
I’ve fallen so deep in love with self, I don’t even want others to interject.
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