Fear: Missing Out vs Loss

The ebb and flow of what strikes fear, one contradicts the other and creates friction. That friction creates the fires of the mind, burning bridges, structures, foundations, and connections all the same.

On the one hand, the threat is perceived as a lacking, some notion of things or attributes not in possession.

On the other hand, the thread is perceived as a potential loss, a fear of the unknown and the lack of guarantee.

In between the two are several different lines that are drawn ranging from love, peace, happiness, purpose, and meaning. With the inversion of each in replacement, hate, unrest, depression, hopelessness and lack of value.

Each line has it's own strength for everyone, one may be more lax while another is wound tight. Which is determined by the level of control that is exerted in an effort to drive a specific outcome. Driven by the fear of loss.

The length of which the line is drawn out determines how far one will go for each individual line. Driven by the fear of missing out.

Sometimes the line is too tight and we cling to the need to control the situation, which can perpetuate the cycle. Sometimes the line is drawn too far and we cling to the need to have this specific interaction, which can perpetuate broken boundaries.

Sometimes we are too lax and give too much slack to the line, making it impossible to react appropriately. Which then feeds into that fear of loss. While sometimes we don't draw the line far enough because of some lack of worth or hope, making it impossible to reach the desired outcome which feeds into that fear of missing out.

Finding that Goldilocks zone where you have the line drawn out and enough control on the line can be quite difficult for just one aspect. Attempting to manage several different lines can be overwhelming.

Yet, sticking to just one line enforces a loss of focus on other areas in life, leaving one to feel unfulfilled or unworthy. While focusing on too many can lead to too much pressure and being overworked.

So here you have this balancing act of which lines you're willing to draw. Attempting to determine if this line of romance will be worth pursuit, while maintaining another line of purpose, a line of employment, a line of education, and a line of self care.

5 major lines that each have their own requirements and you're just trying to fit it all together, though that will never happen. Some lines will require tensity of control and involvement, while others can afford to be loose for a while.

You could envision this in one of two ways: one way is to think of yourself managing 5 different fishing poles. Each with their own chance of catching a fish, each with their own chance of the line snapping or losing the hook. But because you can't control all 5 simultaneously, there's also an added threat of any given pole being dragged off into the water.

The second perception involves using chalk on a sidewalk. You draw out these lines, but you can't control when it rains or where the line needs to stop. So it's a constant struggle to ensure each one will reach it's intended goal without going too far, or not making it far enough. With the ever present threat that at any time, it could simply be washed away.

This is where the fear of loss says "what's the point?" And the fear of missing out says "I have to have this". You end up in this perpetual cycle of want and desire but the fear of losing it all creates a problem.

You do it by saying to yourself "well this happened before" or "this will always be the outcome". While it is true that doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

Though, in order to maintain these sorts of connections requires some level of insanity to begin with. I mean, you are talking about a complex organism/machine that attempts to shape every single life into a given mold.

That mold can be filled in several different ways, but there's also flaws to it and sometimes it might appear that what you have to offer is too little or too much. Again, finding that sweet spot where it fits just right.

And if you're capable of understanding everything I've written, I congratulate you and thank you for your time.

Let me know your thoughts