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I had a feeling that my friend and my crush had been going behind my back.
To clarify, we're not dating but we did kinda flirt with each other. And 2, my friend knew I liked him and I was the one who introduced them.
I talked to the both of them about my feelings. But my friend rejected it. Saying it's not true. It'll never happen between them. It's awkward between them, all the excuses.
I know that I can't make a person like me. Nor are they obligated to return my feelings. But damn. The betrayal be real.
Her's what went down. I confronted my friend about it again. I was being a bitch to her lately btw. So I told her why I felt anxious and nervous.
I did see the problem in my ways. And I really sent her a sincere apology text (I know sincerity can't be measured.. like.. I heard a convo saying that.. once some mentions that they're being sincere, they're not actually sincere... And me saying this may cause doubts...) But I really did.. see the wrong in my ways. I wanted to fix my bitchy attitude. So I told her my reasonings. How I felt left out, how anxious I felt the whole time. I really did try to apologize.
Then, she lashed out on me :') she called me names, swore at me, and she even made this offensively remark. But she brushed it off as a joke. To quote "it was just a joke. I'm so sorry you took it personally. Ffs it wasn't even that bad" :'''')
Then I apologized again. And she just lashed out.... Again...
It is true that I was being a bitch to her(to quote her words).. but... I never swore... I only told her(the main takeaways. Some if them are the same points just worded different. There are 2)
1. She insulted my bro(the offensive remark she brushed off as a joke)
2. The fact that she doesn't want to accept the fact that she and my crush we're getting along fine... I asked why she keeps denying it... Then she ghosted me.
It was her ghosting me that made me feel like I did something wrong. Thus, the apology happens.
She said many things.. many mean things... That hurts me :') I re read my apology many times to make sure that none of my words seemed aggressive. But she took it as aggresion anyways. And still lashed out.
I eventually just thought that this friendship isn't worth it anymore. And ended it. She said... Some really mean things btw...
I know I was mean to her too.. So I probably deserved it.
Got side tracked btw.
But... My Intuition was right in the end... They have been going behind my back... How did I know? Ohoho my crush. It was a slip of the tongue.
So.. I've been thinking all these times. The reason she lashed out at me, was it because I poked a nerve? I was actually on to something? :''') is that why she was so defensive?
Well, whatever it is, I'm hurt in many ways now. I also have no idea what to do with this knowledge.
And let me reiterate, I know that I can't force someone to like me nor are they obligated to like me back.
The reason I'm so hurt is that.... No one told me anything. I feel so betrayed. I feel like such a fool. I feel so used.
Sighhhhhh. I'm glad I ended my friendship with her. I want to end my friendship with my crush too... I should probably just ghost him. Last time I tried talking about it, my friend lashed out on me. I don't want to experience that again >_>
Welp, life sucks... What am I supposed to do now :')
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I answered a post just like this recently so you have my advice.
ReplyYou were right to trust your gut or intuition. Also it wasn't right of you to be a bitch to her but you did try to apologize and she lashed out twice. That's not a real friend. You did your part and that's all you can do is try to make it right. Sincere means sincere imo. I believe you. So I don't think you need either of them.
ReplyDamn it novni my reply wasn't bad
ReplyAhh that's fine... I hope I'll be able to read it :') I've no idea what to do with this newly-found info and feeling
Replyghost him...no one is worth the trauma if u don't even reciprocate it
ReplyWell...it wasn't good to be "a bitch to her" but if she was a true friend she would've:1 told you she liked him or tried to hide it as much as she can.2 she wouldn't have lashed out at you.so like yeah.... But I wouldn't say ghost him... Just tell him you don't want to be friends with him anymore....I ghosted someone before and i still feel guilty, tho the person i ghosted was actually very dear to me so I don't know about you.
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