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I'm at a point of time where I can't tell if I'm genuinely starting to be better mentally because I don't feel sad, or if I'm starting to go numb. Of course, thoughts of self-harm are still there - although I'm about a couple weeks clean yay. I really can't tell anymore.
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I hope you get much better as time goes on.
ReplyWake up before sunrise and go for jogging and run until you lose all your energy. You will start feeling happy like some sort of satisfaction will be there. I have run (jog actually) for 1 hour and I felt like I am lying on the clouds. That pain in legs was so sweet that it made me want to run again
ReplyThoughts, all of them, just come and go with we having almost no control. Occasionally we can choose what to think about and what to do as a result. But most of the time thoughts just appear from out of nowhere. Their arrival does not dictate a meaning. We can decide which ones get out attention and when we add a story and some emotional reactions, that (or those) thoughts will linger and return often. It does not matter if the thought is helpful or harmful.
You need to decide on a few things you want to help make happen in your life. Write a brief summary about each ( a paragraph or so ). Edit the summaries to make them clear and concise. Keep them close. Read them often - at least daily. When a thought arrives that might help make one of your preferences occur, give it attention, add a story, get emotional. Feed it the energy that all thoughts needs to persist. If this leads to you doing something supporting, that is even better.
Unhelpful thoughts will still show up needing the energy from your attention and emotions to stick around. You can't prevent their arrival and you can't make these thoughts leave - that will be giving them energy. Just let these thoughts be there. Observe them without forming any opinions, adding a story, or reacting emotionally. Soon they will dissolve from lack of energy and will be replaced with some other thought. If the next one is unhelpful, repeat the process.
Eventually, a thought that you prefer will arrive and now you know what to do.
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