Heartbreak

I really love you, I'm being honest about it I cant describe how much I love you .Watching you with someone else creates a feeling of tingle in my heart ."why not me with you , why cant I be with you , am I not good enough? " I ask this to myself. The way you hold her , the way you are standing and smiling with her ,makes me restless and jealous .When I proposed you why didn't you make it clear that you arent interested in me and will never give me a chance to be yours? Why? Played with my emotions, feeling, always made fun of my feelings, always discouraged me bodyshamed me always making me feel that I'm not good enough. But you asked for my nude pics I gave it to you thinkin it could create love for me in your heart . But I was wrong , you never loved me, Never respected me. I dont mind that you are with her, but there are a bunch of questions I need to ask you for my peace. I hope once again we start talking and I ask you my questions. It's been 5 mnths we haven't spoken to each other every day I wake up in morning to see a notifications text of urs but go to sleep every night discouraged. Dont you remember how much I loved you ? The day I proposed you? Or you forgot? How could you be soo selfish n leave me full of love ? I wish I never met you 🌹I really miss you dont know whether we will meet in this birth but I wanna be yours in next birth . Promise me ull be mine. I LOVE YOU HOPE GOODNESS TO YOU , MISS YOU HONEY LOVE YOU LOADS .