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I hope I'm able to explain this in a way that makes sense. It's a feeling I've had for the longest time but I haven't quite been able to put it into words or maybe I was just scared to do so. I think deep down I was hoping I'm overreacting and I'd grow out of it but no, it's just become more apparent. I'm always wrong. I have ADD which is probably what's doing this.
If there's a choice between two options I will pick one and everyone else will pick the opposite like that was the obvious choice. It's like everyone else was given a book on how to do certain things and I wasn't. I tend to not notice things and I'm a little slow I guess. Someone will say do this and I'll say but what about this and then I realize ohh they're right. I guess I just take longer and MAN it really affects my self-esteem. I feel stupid. That's what stupidity is right? Being slow... People have always had to kind of treat me like a child. My friends will have to tell me what to do because I'm not paying attention and I missed something or I'm looking at a car but I haven't realized that the car is coming in my direction and therefore I need to move. I want to be smart. My dad is smart and my mom is an extremely hard worker. But I'm non of that stuff. I just feel like I can't do anything right. I play it off well but I'm really hurting and scared of what my life is going to be like being this slow. Will I always have to rely on other people and will I eventually just give up trying because the other person is always right? Even now I constantly have to question my own judgment because I'm just always wrong.
I don't want to be stupid. Now I'm crying because I've bottled this up a long time. I've never met anyone who understands how I feel and I'm hoping somewhere out there, there's another girl who spent her life trying to understand why she's different from her friends and why everyone else just "gets it " and she can't.
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You're not stupid, trust me. I have dyslexia so I'm dumber than anyone. It's okay I know how you feel you're not alone.
Replyand this one too
ReplyThis post got tears to my eyes
Replythat's because I just realized, that I'm an idiot for thinking life was unfair to me. y'all are brave, beautiful and intelligent, if it was me and not y'all, I would've given up
ReplyYou’re perfectly normal. I think you should get professional advice however. Definitely see a doctor. Just to rule out any possible serious condition/issue. But I’m literally so f**king slow and i dont even have any disabilities or anything. It literally takes me 2 years to understand what everyone else will in 2 minutes. Don’t worry, you’re not stupid. There’s several people like you. You just haven’t met them. Just try to see a professional And hopefully find ways to cope/address it and making life easier.
ReplyA. You do do. I bet Elon Musk didn't do the same as everyone else too.
B. Try to think of all the consequences when you make choices. Not just "this seems fun, I'm going to do it", but "How will this affect people around me"?
C. Everyone else is making things up as they go along too. There is no book.
D. If you see the headlights side of a car and hear the purring sound, MOVE. :)
E. Stupidity is not being slow. It's making the same mistake over and over and not learning how not to fix it.
F. Everyone is different. Everyone. EVERYONE. It's normal for our species. We're not ants, after all.
Reply