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why dont you just concentrate on yourself!!?? huh?...after going through sooo fucking much!! i simply know i should just concentrate on myself and let people do them and i do me...why am i getting bothered with people moving forward in their lives!. come on dude...you know your the eldest one and therby the one that is responsible for bringing that ONE BIG CLICHE change in your family , similar to how your cousins have done...but the thing is...theyve got this ginormous emotional, mental plus financial support from their mums and dads...and you honey whose mum is schizophrenic ...dad now with detoriated health due to non cancerous tumor whoes got utmost freedom of doing anything you want..but never shown a direction or support during right times....
gosh everything feels fucked up every fucking thing...sometimes i get this ginormous hope and motivation and then its crushed...but i cant specifically name those events that lesd me to this depressive phase...either way remember...PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE!...concentrate on your hun...let them be and do anything...dont let it depress you...you are now supposed to be HAPPY and HARDWORKING since you now from now on things are gonna be ALOT not even exagerating complicated sometimes tough...you need to take a breath figure it out...and just go for it...most of the times your finances gonna stop you...please delay it..take time but you need to be there....for yourself and your dad whose got even bigger dreams than you...who always understood your vision...who even tho absent during all my struggle with mental health has been always open and present about my life goals and understood them. I hope tho he understands one day the importance of mental health...now you see mum was diagonised as schizophrenic at nearly her 35th year but the present docter...turns out she was being scammed from her 18 uptil almost 30 by her then docter who failed to recognise her actual disorder...now that one was alSO supposedly "family docter". gosh eitherway the treatments been well since 5 years now....but she has been the least productive these years...orr no way productive...you see im a student and waiting for result for this ug exam that ive given...and now ive been doing cleaning atmost at home...and thats not fucking easy to do every day!!!! i literllay am dead halfway through yet my concious never fails to remind me everyday...so i do it every dAY! I LITERLLAY donno when i went from you to i...
inshorttttt i should literally think about my career right now...and i dont think ill ever possibly have luck and happiness in anyother things except my career goal. seeee...she knows it!!! yetr she starts thinking sooo many things literally not related to her.
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