I hurt the person I love

So I was dating this boy named Aaron Wilson. He was the sweetest boy ever. He always told me I was pretty, and that he was so lucky to be able to call me his. He treated me really well. He was truly a gift from heaven. But I screwd it up. I cheated on him with a boy named Trey. Trey kissed me without my permission. And Aaron asked me about it, but I lied to him because I was scared he would break up with me. Now he doesn't trust me, and now I have lost the only boy that I have ever actually really loved. I miss him so much. I miss not being able to hug him or hold him. I miss the way I would run my fingers through his soft long hair. I miss when he would text me good morning and goodnight. I miss our long phone calls. I miss our date nights. I miss when we would hold hands in the school halls. I miss not being able to say I love you to him. I know I have messed up. I regret it so bad. Because all Aaron ever did was love me. I love him so so much.