Recovery??

Yesterday for first time in my life I fainted in public. On a very packed and busy train. It was scary experience to say the least.

I thought I was fine. But clearly I’m not I’ve relapsed. But honestly never really recovered anyway. But now I think my body finally giving up on me

I’ve Always struggle with dizziness and being light headed but it become a lot worse lately. Every time I get up feel so dizzy abs tingly.

I Started taking strong iron pills to help but clearly it’s not working.

I thought had my bulimia under control. But I know now that’s a lie guess it’s a triggering time of year or maybe it’s being back home. But I’m honestly the worst I’ve ever been.

Want to recovery but at the same time I want to lose weight I don’t want to get fat again.

Know I’ve gained little bit of weight since I’ve been back home and it kills me.

I really do want to recover but I also want to get back on my health lifestyle and weight loss. I am still considered overweight for my height and honestly want to be healthier weight I know I’d feel better.

Is recovery and weight loss possible?

I want to recover but I’d rather die than be fat again I know still medically considered overweight by like 5 pounds but I used to be morbidly obese 3yrs ago.

My first ever recovery result in me going from a chubby pre teen bulimic to morbidly obese binge eater. I went from bingeing and purging to just bingeing non stop this lasted for years until my early 20s.

Until in 2018-19 I recovered* from my binge eating and lost half my body weight.

In 2020 struggle with being afraid of food and scared of eating anything bad. But 2021 I started to get over my fear live normal until summer when my bulimic behaviours started again…

And Now I’m here scared of recovery