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I've recently found this website, and I'm here to talk about something that's been bugging me, but let me introduce myself.
Hello, I'm a biological female. I'm a middle schooler, and I'm straight/heterosexual. I was raised in a Southern Baptist Christian household (that means I'm conservative) and I'm very devoted to my religion.
So recently I've been wondering if I'm having feelings that of a transgender/crossdresser. And this is weird, because I'm someone who is against those things because of my religion.
I'm a girl. I have a tendency to crush on a boy constantly. Once a crush leaves, a new one enters. Sometimes I have multiple. I like being a girl? It's very weird to think about having male genitals.
But when I look in the mirror and I shift my bangs so that 3/4 of it is swept to one side and a little semicircle of hair is there and 1/4 is just on the side, it looks boyish and I like it. I think it's charming. But I don't want to be a boy. I just kind of like looking like one.
I like wearing more unisex clothing, and I was very excited about getting a plain dark green quarter-zip sweater for boys from an online store. Unfortunately, my size sold out before my mom could get it for me, but I have a navy blue North Face turtleneck hood-less jacket that is boyish so I thought it was okay.
I like drawing girls in tuxedos or blazers. I prefer drawing more upturned eyes on girls than the round, pretty eyes.
What's happening to me?
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You have a style you like. It seems like you enjoy a more "masculine" or "tomboy-ish" look. You can be masculine and still be 100% a girl.
ReplyBut why would a 100% girl want to seem like the opposite gender of herself? I'm very grateful that you've clarified that this is just my style but there are some confusing things that still remain.
ReplyBecause style and appearance are not gendered. It's just what you like. "masculine" clothes and hair are not "male". Anyone can wear something masculine, and anyone can wear something feminine too. It's all just self-expression and there is no inherent gender/sex in self-expression except for the one/s you assign to your own.
ReplyI see... I think what you've said made me learn a lot of new things about myself. I'll have more confidence in who I am now.
ReplyI have a very good friend who is female but tomboyish not gay at all. I've always gotten a masculine energy off her, but that's just who she is.
Replyyou are def not gay. my cousin was same way and now married with 4 kids. relax now and enjoy your femaleness.
ReplyHello,
I recently had a similar experience and a friend led me to a conclusion which worked well in my head. I am a biological male who identifies as male (cisgender). However, I wear dresses and makeup and walk with my hips because I like the way it makes me feel. At the end of the day, my identity is a purely internal thing and my expression is an entirely other external preference. They can affect each other, but they don’t have to call each other into question. I know that I can dress however I want and still feel confident in being a man because I feel like one regardless of how I look. You have the agency to dress how you want *and* be who you want without having to conform to any expected combination of the two. Remember that this applies both in situations whether you identify as your gender assigned at birth or not. I hope you may find confidence in both your expression and identity, and I agree that girls in tuxedos look good.
-MrFaber
ReplyThank you. I guess I couldn't grasp the idea that fashion and gender don't question the other.
Reply