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I dated a guy all through middle school and high school. he was my first love. we were together for 7 years. he moved to a different country to pursue higher education and forgot about me. he cheated on me and that left me traumatized. i was broken beyond repair and then suddenly someone else comes into my life. picks up my broken pieces and mends them carefully . making me the queen of his heart. loved me like i have never been loved before. and then after 4yrs he decides its time to blend my broken mended pieces and make them into a powder. he abuses me mentally. belittles me and my family in every chance he gets. so my question is 2 guys become the the center of my life within a decade. and then they both decide to leave me. its kind of like they got to know me better and decided i'm not worth it or something and just left. the second guy has not broken up yet but he and i are almost broken. what we have is not a relationship. its just friends with benefits kind of thing. and i think all this is making me more and more traumatized. i am not as strong as i thought i am. i dont know what to do. i cant take it anymore . please help me
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You can try to turn this 'friends with benefits' idea back to a relationship if you both go to a relationship counselor. I think that both of these guys have fallen out of love with you as that first love doesn't last and then you both see each other's faults and grow apart. The second guy is a very nasty person and if someone had done that to me I wouldn't be giving him the time of day let alone being in a friends with benefits thing. So if you really and truly want to return this to a decent relationship you will have to talk to him and try to get him to go with you to a counselor. After all, after the love fades keeping a relationship or marriage takes hard work and you both must be willing to put in this work.
Replywhat if he is unwillingly to even admit that something is wrong with our relationship? and that i'm the only one causing the problems?
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