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I think I’m the unhappiest bride in the world. Actually it’s almost a year since the wedding but it hurts so bad whenever I recall my wedding.
My husband is often mistaken me for staring at other guy, even before the marriage. One day when we passed a tall building I looked at the balcony wondering if it was a boarding house. But my husband thought that I stare at a guy with a cool motorcycle in front of the building. I didn’t even know there was a guy and also the motorcycle because I was looking at the balcony.
And it also happened during our wedding. He was mistaken me for smiling at his sister’s fiance when I was actually smiling toward his aunt who was talking happily with the family. He also mistaken me for staring at his brother when I was just looking at the catering wondering If everybody enjoy the food.
The wedding should be full of joy but mine was tearful :’)
So I was busy clarfying while crying for all of his judgement on our wedding day. He didn’t accept my explanation and thought he was right.
It happened most of the time and so frustrating. I always ended up thinking for grabbing a knife or fork to stab my own eyes so I won’t see anything and he won’t accusing me for something I didn’t do but he stopped me.
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Hunnyyyy this is not okay. He shouldn't be accusing you of checking out other guys just because you're looking at someone/something other than him. I mean, what does he expect you to do? Stare at the ground your whole life to avoid seeing other guys?
You don't sound happy at all about this relationship and if it's draining you, you need to leave it. Please, please prioritize your happiness. You deserve someone who won't act like that towards you. Is there anything else that he does or is this the only thing?
ReplyThat is the only thing.
He is caring, loving, and I’m happy around him (except when he bring up his absurd assumption).
But yes. He ever once told me to not observe/care around when we go outside or meet people. And I eventually stare at the ground especially when theres guy around. If I notice I stare at something, I will just explain what I see. I’m so terrified. But my husband understand and said that I was trying so hard. Then I stopped explaining things around.
Everytime we talked about his assumption I was hurt and all I did was crying because I know I couldn’t explain and prove anything if he didn’t even trust me. Then he will ask for apology for being too much. But just now I told him to simply leave me if he think what he think is right because it’s really draining me.
ReplyHe also shouldn't be telling you to apologize for showing your emotions and being overwhelmed. That's not being "too much". Don't let him drain you. He needs to stop doing this asap
ReplyI am so sorry about that. He doesn't sound that nice especially when he keeps blaming you for staring at other men. He needs to hear you out and stop assuming things. You were just trying to admire his Aunt, think about a building, and wondering if people enjoyed the food. His behavior is not okay especially during a marriage. You should consult your feelings to him about the way he always assumes you looking at other men. He sounds like a jealous man who doesn't want you looking at anything but him.
ReplyThis isn't someone you want to married to.
ReplyI'm really sorry that you have to go through this. This kind of behavior that your husband is displaying is extremely abusive, and I would suggest leaving his side. I read your comment telling someone else that he is caring and loving with you still, but that does not mean he's not hurting you. You should not tolerate this and nobody has the right to make you feel this way or treat you like this, whether they are your husband, brother, son, friend, father, and so on. He seems to be narcissistic, and I mean that in the most genuine way; my father was the same way. If this situation is making you feel the way you say you are, do not stay by him. This is not a healthy relationship, even if you have your happy moments. Marriage is not meant to be all rainbows and sunshine but this relationship is not healthy in the slightest. I hope you find safety and happiness in the future.
ReplyHe's so wrong. Girl, gain confidence, look at him in eyes and say that did he ever loved you in first? Question his love the way he questions you about your faithfulness. If he really loves you, tell him to understand you. And make him feel bad how he spoilt your wedding by his judgemental attitude. Make him feel super bad the way he did to you. Only then he'll know the pain you've been going through. Say him why does he thinks so low and shallow? Ask him that is that your first thought when you just see me looking around? Or does he stares at other girls and thinks everyone's the same?
No amount of your love towards him will change the past, but you can change how he feels and make him question himself the way he made you question yourself. Go hard on him and just get this done. For once and all. This is a very inappropriate allegation he's putting on you. What if he puts another such allegations on you regarding anything in future? He simply believes that saying nonsense 10 times will make it true. You deserve better!
Reply