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I just turned 17 and I've gotten my first boyfriend a few months ago (yes first don't judge me I was shy so I didn't talk to boys before now). I'm at the age where people at school and on social media are talking about their relationships and everything they do with their partners..... if you get what I mean. I feel like I want to do those things aswell but I also feel like I couldn't handle it. I think it could be too much for me because I'm not used to romantic or sexual feelings or being so close with someone like I am with him... my boyfriend is not a virgin but he says that it doesn't bother him if we don't do things like that. I think he was just being nice when he told me because I will sometimes catch him staring at me with "those" eyes. You know what I'm talking about? It makes me kind of uncomfortable when he looks at me like that but at the same time I think I like it. Is it fine to like feeling uncomfortable? That sounds so weird to me but I'm sure there is an explanation for it. What do you think?
(Sorry if it's weird to say all of this but I don't have anyone to talk to in my life about these things).
And sometimes when we kiss he will seem like he doesn't want to stop or wants to do more by the way he is touching me. (I also get the uncomfortable but good feeling when he does that! Is that weird?). Is that just how boys are? Is it normal? Because I don't want to keep him from doing something he wants but I know he wouldn't do it if he thought I didn't completely want to which I dont even know what I want to do now. This is so confusing my little brain can't figure out what I want. I feel like I want to do some things with him but I'm not sure if I could follow all the way through with it which is what worries me the most. What if I chicken out? I'd feel embarrassed and probably bury myself in a hole. Is there something I should do to ease myself into all of this and prepare myself so I'm not so lost? I'm so confused with all my feelings!!!! I can't tell what exactly it is that I'm feeling!
Thank you for reading this ❤️ ❤️ I feel better now that I have put my thoughts into writing. And sorry if there are a lot of mistakes in my writing because English is not my first language and I had to Google some words haha. If you have any advice for me or just anything you want to say about my situation please comment. What do you think I should do and how can I sort out my feelings and stop being so overwhelmed by it all? It's because it's new to me so thats why I'm overwhelmed I guess. I would also like it if you have any thoughts on my grammar and spelling etc. because I am trying to improve. Have a wonderful day❣️
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Hey… I read the whole story. Seems like you got that kind of feelings towards him too. You’re feeling nervous because he’s your first boyfriend. I honestly don’t know what to say. If he doesn’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do he might be a good guy.
ReplyMiddle aged male here and my wife and I are swingers. Since you said English isn't your first language, I'll go on to explain in this post that "swingers" are folks who "swing" or partake in the action of "swinging". Swinging, in the adult form, is the act of sleeping with folks outside of your relationship. Sometimes my wife goes out alone, sometimes I go out alone, and sometimes we got out together. We've had plenty of exposure to sex and with many different folks.
I don't have much time at the moment so going to keep this brief.
First, I commend you on your writing skills as you stated that English isn't your first language. Before you mentioned that, I was reading through your post thinking that you were very educated in the subject because everything about the post is so well written. I think you did a great job and it was far, far better than what I typically see people post here so, by all means, be proud of yourself for doing such a great job there.
Now, let's quickly move through the other stuff, shall we?
I'm assuming that your boyfriend and you are close in age. If that's the case, you are both wired to be having sex at this age. By nature, your body's are changing and part of that change is that we begin to desire sex. This is, of course, Mother Nature getting us to procreate but we typically use protection so we can have the sex without getting pregnant until a time in our lives when we think we're ready for such a responsibility.
It's normal that your boyfriend is wanting to have sex and it's normal that you're having these strange feelings. You said in your post, though, that you don't think you can handle it and that's enough said there to wait until you're ready.
Your boyfriend said it was ok if the two of you don't have sex and, while he did say that, I'm sure you were thinking "ok if we don't have sex ever" and he was thinking "ok if we don't have sex for the first few months". I hate to say it but there's a good chance he could get frustrated if you don't give in and, it's possible he'll turn away and look to start a new relationship elsewhere. And as horrible as that is to say, I'm not advising you to have sex just because he wants to. I'm only explaining what could happen if you don't. But, if you aren't ready for sex, then you just aren't ready and there is nothing wrong with that. If things don't work out with this guy, you'll be crushed for a while but I promise you'll move on and later find someone else to be with.
When you two kiss, you say that it seems he doesn't want to stop or wants to do more and you're wondering if that's normal. When you two kiss, he's becoming sexually aroused so he continues to kiss you and, if I had to guess, gets a little more into the kiss. He's holding you and touching you because he's aroused and he's hoping you'll give in and just let things happen naturally. If you don't resist, pull back, or tell him to stop, he'll just keep going hoping that he can go all the way and that the two of you will have sex.
If you ever decide you're ready to try some stuff, you don't have to start at the deep end of the pool. Remind him that you've not done anything like this before and let him know that you'd like to ease into it. Maybe you discuss about what you could be comfortable with to start like allowing him to touch you, you touch him, or both. Have your fun but draw the line there. Maybe later, if you still feel comfortable, you could progress to oral. Later, if that worked out, you could move on to other things.
Just remember to do go at your own pace and don't let him push you around. Only start with any of these activities when you are absolutely ready. And, when you get to a point where you're having actual intercourse, remember to use protection.
What you're going through is all very natural. It doesn't mean something sexual has to happen. I hate to hear that you don't have friends to talk to about these kinds of issues but you are always welcome here.
No matter what you decide to do, we are wishing you the best.
Good Luck!
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