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Since I was little, I've been told that I am too... inexpressive, when it comes to SHOWING my emotions. I have memories of classmates telling me I intimidated them because I never talked and my face was always too ""neutral"" (that was how they described it). I've had friends say I resemble a machine or a robot of some sort. My own childhood best friend once told me, "I just never have any idea of what you're thinking or feeling. You never look happy or sad or angry. You just look like nothing at all. Like there's nothing in your head."
And I've had way too many occasions in which I have to insist to other people that "Yes, I genuinely do like this gift" because they find my reaction "too underwhelming". But I suppose I don't blame them for it. After all, I don't jump with excitement, squeal, yell or even say much. My reaction is usually "Oh wow, thank you!" and even with that, I've had to teach myself to force the 'thank you' to be more enthusiastic. I've had to do that with all of me actually. I don't naturally sound enthusiastic about most things so I've had to teach myself to sound more like it. But it feels very uncomfortable, it's tiring, and it makes me feel like some sort of cartoon character. At most, my excitement naturally manifests as me looking very awake and fidgeting around a lot.
And when it comes to FEELING my emotions perse, I guess it also is different from the people around me. I can feel happy, sad, angry, bored, and so on. But when it's about tragic things happening, I almost feel indifferent. I'm a very empathetic person and it hurts and angers me to see unfairness in the world, but when it's about personal things related to me, that you'd expect would impact me more, I almost feel nothing at all. It does not hurt me to simply disconnect my brain from them. I don't know very well how to explain it. When a close relative dies, I think "That's sad, they were important to me and I will miss them" but I never actually feel tragically sad and I have never ever cried for them. This is also why I've been called heartless or cold-hearted.
But I don't think I'm heartless, cold-hearted, or empty-brained the way everyone says. I feel a lot and I think a lot. My emotions just... don't seem to work like everyone else's, and I don't know or understand why that is. Do I have something that prevents me from feeling and showing my feelings like others?
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ReplyThat's for sure you have emotions,feelings but the reason your friends or people you know not find that because you are not a self centred man and you are not obsessed with things which will affect your life in any way, see some people just don't care about their life they have a broader vision and don't get affected by things which are directly affects or related to them but they do get bothered
When they see someone who they don't even know in misery so I will just say its is good thing for society to have people like that just don't bother much about your friends opinion
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