reflecting

lately my life has felt sort of like a dream. i keep waiting for someone to pinch me back to reality, but id like to hold on a bit longer. i went through my old posts and i cant help but think of how far ive come and how much better im doing compared to not even a year ago. i dont know when it happened, but one day i woke up and realized i sort of have everything depressed younger me wanted. only as of this year, i have a solid, funny, non toxic friend group, my dream part time job, i have great grades, im dating the girl ive had a crush on for two years, and i feel a lot prettier and more confident than i ever have. i dont flinch when i look into a mirror any more, and i dont shy away from the camera or cringe when i see a picture of me that wasn’t completely manipulated by me. i didnt think id be alive today, but here i am. my life went downhill so, so fast, but now im starting to heal from the past years and im becoming the girl i always wanted to be and was jealous of. i just never imagined myself here in a million years, but yknow what? i think im gonna make it. im clean, sober, and happy. i dont know how but i am. if youre reading this i want you to know that when i was suicidal and depressed, i hated people telling me it would get better, but now you at least know its a possibility.