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So, Recently I met a guy who showed interest in me and He asked me to go out with him ( not dating him ) . I went out with him and We had a good time But He kept on touching me and hugging me and telling me sweet things . I'm against These kind of things so I told him that He is making me uncomfortable and I kindly asked him to keep a little distance from me and to not cross his limits with me . He apologized to me and I said it is Ok ( I expected him to understand immediatly ) But Then after 10 minutes He touched me again and I asked him to get his hands away from me ( I said it nicely ) He Then Told me that it was because He is so interested in me and That He is not That kind of guy who plays with girls ( AS IF ! )
Last night , We were texting each other , I said I Just took a shower and He started to said those se*ually Things to me . I ignored him and Apparently He got mad .
Honestly , I like him .. It has been a long time since I liked someone But He seems to only like me to satisfy his se*ual needs and Just likes my physical . His actions and words says so .
As someone who went through many deception when it comes to relationships . I would rather stop now than I get hurt later on . But also , as someone who suffered from childhood trauma , I get attached to people easily and I will have a hard time getting him out of my life .
What's your advices ?
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Hello writer! The first thing a man should work on is to make the girl comfortable if he reallly likes that girl. If he isn't working on making you feel comfortable and saying he is interested in you he's only interested in fulfilling his needs. So YES it is a red flag. You should stop right now.
I understand it would be difficult for you to get rid of him but as far as I know you'll feel even worse if you'll stay with this kind of person. It will be a little hard but you'll get the better results after sometime. The most important thing in a relationship is understanding your partner and he's not understanding you at all.
ReplyLet him go for sure he crosses boundaries.
ReplyYeah that’s a red flag. Ditch him. There’s other people always. Being alone is better than bad company
ReplyGo with your instincts, they're usually correct, not always, but usually.
Also, from an outsider's perspective - it definitely sounds like he's mostly interested in sex. I would suggest you get to know him better, do a background search on him, look him up on social media, ask him about his past relationships to see how he responds. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
ReplyBackground checks don’t measure trustworthiness.
ReplyI don't agree that she should get to know him better - he has shown her exactly who he is. And remember, on a first date, you would expect him to be on his Best behaviour. He is only going to treat her worse and worse from Day 1.
ReplyYes, it's a big Red Flag that you told him exactly what your boundary was, and he crossed it again ten minutes later. He got mad at you for not wanting his sexual messages, instead of apologising and trying to treat you how you want to be treated.
He's shown you with actions and words that he's not on the same page - and not willing to respect your limits, or consider what you would like from this relationship. He has been actively hostile to you in response to you trying to set a reasonable boundary.
You think you have an attachment to this guy, but really, he has already shown that he is not worth your time. You can absolutely stop now, and get him out of your life by blocking his number.
I'm sorry you got your hopes up, but this is dude is not someone who will treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve. You can do so much better.
ReplyI feel like you already know the answer to this. If his actions are making you feel uncomfortable and he doesn't stop them even after you tell him that ITS A HUGE RED FLAG. I've known guys just like that. You need to keep your distance from him.
Reply