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I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now he always brings me presents even without occasions my birthday was 2 weeks ago he got me a promise ring. After our 1 year anniversary will be after a week he told me that he's struggling financially and he won't buy me a gift which I was okay with since he doesn't get paid well and he always buys me gifts. I bought him a gift and I'm preparing a love letter for him and I didn't care much about what he said until today he told me that he lend his brother some money I don't care about material things yet I sometimes think he prioritizes his family over me (financially) I get that he's free it's his own money but he couldn't buy me a cheap gift forour first anniversary yet he could lend his brother a good amount of money?? It's not about the value of the gift it's about the thought of it I found it so upseting and I need a 3rd person's point of view on this am I overreacting or being nosy or it's really upsetting? I need an honest answer
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I think it's understandable that you feel upset because it was a very special day for the both of you but considering that the situation he's in, I hope you understand. You said that he would always buy you gifts even without occasions and I think that he has the purest intention for you but I honestly think that it's wrong for you to think that it's wrong for him to prioritize his family over you. I don't think he would intentionally not give you a gift if he really had the money. He was probably already saving the money he has for something important or in case of emergency and he needs to pull something out. It's family we're talking about, even if I were in a tight position financially, I would give all I have for someone who is really in need, especially if it's my family. Financially speaking, you're not his obligation nor is his responsibility to provide your needs if you think that he should prioritize you over his family. If in ordinary days, he remembers you, I know he wouldn't let a special day pass. I hope that gifts won't be a basis of whether he has thought of you or not. I hope you don't take this as an attack and please keep an open mind.
Replyi'm giving a simple answer to your question:
he is absolutely not at fault, and your thinking kind of needs to change
ReplyI can understand that this is upsetting. I knew a girl whose boyfriend went over seas to visit people in the country he came from. When he returned he showed her the beautiful expensive jewellery he had bought for his mother and sister. Then he gave her a cheap watch that he had bought for her. She was extremely upset as she said she should come first.
Your boyfriend is treating you as second best when he puts anyone else before you. You should explain this to him and tell him how much this has upset you.
Reply