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*I want to send something like this to my 'best friend' soon because its eating me up and I can't keep ignoring these thoughts at the back of my head. Plus, my girlfriend doesn't want T around when she's toxic. It's ruining our relationship and my mental health. Should I send this or is it too much?*
To T,
why would you say 'I'm going to lose everyone around me?' That fucking hurts T.
I swear I've not been messaging bitchy stuff. So to hear that really kills. I get it, I completely forgot and got too focused on my own life. But to say I'm 'not going to have anyone there anymore' just feels like an attack. Everyone always asked me why I was friends with you. All the time they'd wonder why i was friends with someone who'd constantly take the mick out of me, scare me half to death when they'd leave in the night and police came knocking, then act like nothing happened. Why I'd let you get away with so so much and let you forget about the plans we made together, plans like spending Christmas together this year or accompanying me to my tattoo appointment or planning something for my birthday. Why I would put your needs first EVERY TIME and ignore my own mental health. I know I'm not perfect either but living away from you has made me realise how toxic we are for one another. So, I'm done being walked over and having to use the excuse 'because T's my best friend and I love her'. I love you T but sometimes, you've got to let go of the people you love. Self destructive or not, i know you'll still have an amazing life without me and be utterly incredible at whatever you do. To which i say, Good luck and good bye.
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Yes, you should send this. Considering how T has let you down it is a very nice letter. I would send a nasty letter to someone who treated me like that.
ReplyI was in a similar situation. A friend "T" is a very toxic individual; she always talks about how she's suicidal and how she's always alone and nobody likes her. And yet she keeps on abusing drugs and alcohol; whenever we hang out, she's always high and inadequate. She always blames her friends for the way her life is going and mistreats us all. She even insults us but always says it's just a joke. She's done many more things, including betraying me and simply using me. We've had our share of good moments, but at the end of the day, that's not enough.
If your friend is making you feel exhausted and emotionally spent, it's better to let go of her. People change, and that's okay. You should put yourself and your mental health first. Life is short, so live a life with no regrets and with people that make you feel good. It'll hurt at first, but as time passes, I think you'll realize that it's okay to let go of people. I don't really know your situation, but I hope this helped! And before you do anything rash, think about what you really want out of your life and who you want in it.
Replyok, i get it. this person hurt your feelings. but, what's to gain in saying this to them? is there really a need to be cruel to them? are you saying this for selfish reasons? are you helping them or are you just making yourself feel better?
if you have chosen to befriend someone who is self destructive, you were fully aware that they are incapable of being dependable. they are a disaster. becoming too involved means your life will become messy with them, but that doesn't mean that they do not still care about the people around them. it just means you have to be tougher, maintain your boundaries and continue to live your life without becoming overwhelmed by them.
i agree with you and everyone else. you can't handle the relationship. you probably never could. take a step back, but don't be cruel when you do it. believe me, they are cruel enough to themselves.
Reply