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My friend met a guy for marriage through a matrimonial site. He was nice, educated, and doing fine in his life. They connected well and decided to meet with the parents. They met in Delhi and almost spent a day together. Meeting went fine and the gal was happy and hopeful that now finally something is happening right in her life. Like every other parent, her parents tried to contact the family of that guy to know their opinion. His parents (father) were happy with the meeting and communicated that we are ready it was just that his mother also wanted to meet her once. So, within 20 days, they decided second meeting with his mother and the guy was also there. Again, it went fine though that guy behaved a little weirdly but on asking he told his reasons. Then the time came when their family has to declare the result of whether that girl passed the examination or not. His family passed the gal, but it was communicated to her parents that their son is not able to decide yet. After the first meeting also, it was told that he (the guy) is not able to decide and that’s the reason the second meeting was decided. Almost the gal and the boy were in touch for 4 months. So, the gal tried to ask the guy what the issues are and why he is not able to decide. Initially, he didn’t tell anything and tried to blame himself for his indecisive nature and also that he knew that he is doing wrong. On much forcing, he admits that he didn’t get attracted to her physically which is important to him. Gal understood the point and since she knew it somewhere, so she tried and reduced her weight to become more presentable. Since she liked the guy, she remained in his touch and then both of them decided to meet again. They met and spent good quality time together. Nothing has been talked about about marriage by that guy. After the meeting gal raised the concern and asked about his final decision on marriage. He gave the same reason for not being able to decide yet and when she blocked him, he said yes to her with many terms and conditions. She asked the guy to talk to his parents and her parents so that things can be planned out accordingly. But after a few days, the guy denied marriage, saying he is still confused and don’t see any romantic angle. Further, he said that she is not able to fulfill his romantic fantasies and further told her that she never talks about any sexual stuff to make him feel important and connected. She very clearly told her that she could talk about these topics, but she needs that assurance in their relationship that it can lead to marriage. Otherwise, talking about such stuff to each guy looking for marriage will eventually be a loss of emotions. But he kept blaming her for her looks (he doesn’t get attracted to her). This guy is in his 40s and the girl is in her late 30s. she used to be a confident gal but after this incident, she lost her confidence somewhere and is still in dilemma about what wrong she has done even after remaining in touch for almost a year, the guy is not able to decide for marriage and he keeps repeating that he knows he is wrong, but his mind is not supporting him. The purpose of sharing such incidents is that people blame gals for not taking care of the boy’s family and not being considerate and taking their career as a priority. But such guys and incidences force them to become selfish. By the way, forgot to mention that the looks of that guy are mediocre in himself.
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This man could have a phobia of commitment and maybe he will never marry. It seems that people of all cultures are too fussy as to who they want to be with. Once two people get to know each other their personalities should overcome their looks. I think that these two should be friends for a few months with no commitment and then when they have a decent idea of each other they can decide whether to stay friends, marry, or depart from one another.
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