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I have a bad temper and because of it people are always trying to fight me. I have been trying to control it but it's like the older i get, the worse it gets. I usually have trouble calming down without my girlfriend because she knows how to calm me down. Sometimes, If i get too angry I get sad and overwhelmed, then I just, Shut down. Lately my anger has been like 10x worse. It gets triggered so easily no and I don't know what to do about it. It's also a lot worse when i'm at school because of all of the bullies, and the people who don't like the idea of a girl dating another girl. Well i'm sorry, It's who I am and I can't really just go and change that about me because you don't like it! Like goddamn! Just shut up! Every time someone says something about me dating a girl, I get so angry it's like I've been possessed by a demon and theres nothing I can do about it. It's like i'm going insane. Just yesterday it was so bad that I accidentally hurt my girlfriend. I don't want to hurt her...but I can't control this feeling of insanity. I can't tell anyone because I don't want to get sent away again...
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I got in a lot of trouble when I was younger because of this. My brother was the same way. I got ahold of mine after too many expensive run-ins that came as a result of my lashing out physically. I literally could not afford it anymore. I intercepted my brother going down the same path, and suggested that he find a constructive outlet for that anger and violence. So he took up Jiu Jitsu. He’s been doing it for quite a few years now and absolutely loves it. He’s a purple belt, I think. I would suggest the same thing to you. You have a fighting spirit. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it can either win you trophies and accolades, or land you in prison. How you channel it is your choice. Find some fighting sport that appeals to you. And let that demon do it’s thing within the appropriate boundaries. ❤️
ReplyThank you so much! I will look into that!
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