i feel completely insane

I have a crush on my best friend. I am so obsessed with her. She is on my mind 24/7, I cry everyday that she doesn't text me, i can't go two weeks without seeing her but im so awkward when i talk to her. our friendship was only healthy during a five month period when we saw each other every day and were comfortable with each other. but right now our friendship is toxic and everything hurts when i don't talk to her, i feel like i was manipulated unknowingly into being like this. she constantly "tests" our friendship where i have to be the one to text first. so i have been this whole month and ive been noticing that i feel very depressed and my self-esteem is non-existent. now, remember, this is the girl i have a crush on. it hurts so much to love her but i can't help myself and i have to be in pain until it stops. i want her to say something so hurtful that we stop talking and i can't forgive her because i feel like thats the only way i would stop loving her. recently, she has been rude to me and does not care about my well being, i gave her a birthday gift and she appreciated it. then she lost it the same day :( she likes someone else too. i dont know why im like this. she always texts me sweet things at night and in the day she acts like a different person. when i see her in person, im ignored if she is with someone more important than me, then she tells me about her friend who does the same thing to her. one time i was completely ignored and acted like i didnt exist when she saw her friend. im sorry if anyone actually read through this, i know im so stupid its not even funny. i cant stop until she hurts me really bad. and if this clarifies my issues, im a sixteen year old emotional girl, so maybe im just dramatic :/