the worst 4 months of my life

my heart still aches for a guy that hates me. I lost a good amount of my friends because of it and I just feel like I have no one to talk to. I just want to have a conversation with him but he hates me to the point where he cant stand to be in the same room as me. idk how this guy stained this bad. I still miss him even after 4 months. I just wanna talk to him because I honestly miss his friendship more than anything. i just my life to go back to the way it was when I had everyone in my life. I know we are supposed lose ppl in our lives but losing this many just hurts on a diff level and no one can understand the pain until you have experienced it. trust me i would do anything to reverse time if I could. just listening to all the songs that remind me of him makes me cry because it brings back all the good memories we have had. I just want him to talk to me. why is that too much to ask. he owes me that for leaving things the we he did.