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When someone slightly overweight stops eating nobody cares. people think "she's dieting so she can be pretty." and i sympathize for those people but also they make it sound like its so amazing to be skinny with an eating disorder. If i don't eat food people get mad. its like they can't even comfort me without getting a comment in "oh you don't need to starve yourself, your already skinny enough." and there's also the encouraging "you need to get some meat on those bones." and i'm honestly tired of it. If your so fucking worried about me DO SOMETHING GODDAMIT. that's what i want to scream, but i don't because i'm scared. people don't understand that no matter how skinny you are if your always worried like me one person or a group of friends calling you "fat" or saying "you've started gaining weight." it sticks. even when your 20 pounds underweight it sticks, even when you can't fit your clothes it sticks, when you can barely walk without feeling dizzy it sticks. when your sitting insicure sucking on mints whenever you get hungry to temporarily elimintate your hunger ITS THERE. that one comment, that joke. And people acknowledge that there sayign shitty things and they don't care. the second i stop eating i need to gain weight but when i do eat i'm fat? I can barely look into the mirror without feeling fat. i'm 12 and 5'7 but wheigh like 95 pounds. and i'm fat?? and i've also ran into the people who are "Jealous" of my position. "i wish i was 12 and terrified of what other people say, because you look really pretty. i'd go through all that trauma if i looked that nice. hahaha" "your overreacting, i would've killed for a body like that." people also find it really funny to compare your weight to your 8 year old sisters. "omg you only weigh 10 pounds more than her, omg you could like... wear her clothes. thats so funny"
I understand its hard to go through eatign dissorders, no matter how much you weigh.but makign it sound like y life isn't a LIVING HELL because of this shit and that your's is makes me wanna cry.
so thank you for listening. i'm sorry if you feel attacked
p.s (thanks for all the trauma Alex)
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Your feelings are so valid, no matter where you are on the spectrum people will have opinions that are hurtful and unnecessary. These people are dumb because they feel justified to share that opinion without considering your feelings, health (mental and physical), and they cant see. Do what you need to move toward personal comfort, whatever that may be (and generally has nothing to do with changing diet, just changing view) find a distraction, find a sport or motion that makes you feel good, dominate something to know that how you look has nothing to do with how amazing you are <3
ReplyI'm sorry you're going through this but thanks for posting... That's exactly how it is. I relapsed on my eating disorder today so yeah... exactly
ReplyI hope you find that the words of others only hold meaning when we believe them.
Think of things that make you happy and find someone to talk to even if there not in person just find something that makes you happy.
This is so that you can hopefully ignore the comments of others and understand no one is good or bad they speak terrible things that is something we can't control.
ReplyWOW! you’re 12, and 5’7?
Also… very weird how the people in your life are constantly talking about “wanting a body like yours.”
As an adult saying this… maybe stay away from those people. And if they keep pestering you and making comments about your body, do NOT be scared to call them out for their behavior and how they are making you uncomfortable.
As an ex- anorexic… I’m 99% sure I would have recovered so much faster if people stopped talking about my body to me. First off… my body is none of their business! Second.. I would never say that kind of stuff to them! So why did they keep doing that to me?? So weird, right?!
Unfortunately, dear, and you will come to realize this soon in life.. but People Are Stupid. Those people who are comparing your body to other people? Stupid. Telling you to “get meat on your bones”? Stupid.
Don’t listen to stupid people. It will waste your time, energy, and ruin your mood immediately.
And finally, regarding your eating disorder, I’m not going to pass any judgement. I know that there is nothing more annoying than someone standing over your shoulder, telling you to eat, or don’t eat, what to eat and what not to eat. But having recovered, and making peace with my body as it is, I can say easily that an eating disorder is both a stress response and a trap. I only recovered because I stopped caring about my body and the people around me, and I’ve never felt so free. I truly hope you can feel that freedom one day too. But take your time with this journey, and learn new things about yourself along the way. It took me five years to think about recovering, and two more to fully recover.
Stay safe dear, I love you.
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