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I’ve had a crush on this boy since middle school. We were never very close, but we were friends. We would occasionally text (usually I would text him) and we also happened to be desk partners a couple of times for some time. We would talk and share laughs. I mean I don’t even know him very well but I still liked him. We usually had a very good chemistry. Sometimes I would get the feeling that he also liked me, we would sometimes flirt a little, but I was always skeptical if he did like me or was even a little interested (I had very low self esteem, I always thought I wasn’t good enough for him and he has better option around him). My self esteem was very low at the time and I knew that he was quite a player. He was usually surrounded by girls and he was popular.
It’s been nearly four years since I saw him and he’s the only boy I’ve ever had a crush on or even felt this way before for.
Since then he’s never left my mind. Every now and then I think about him. Its quit a comforting feeling to think that the reason he sometimes comes to mind is cause I’m also on his mind, but we don’t know that, because we don’t know what he’s thinking about.
I’m a logical person. I think about every decision in a logical way, I try to find the meaning or the reason behind anything that happens, but I when it comes to him no matter what happens I just want to know what it feels like to be loved by him, be hurt by him, laugh with him, cry with him, for him or because of him.
Was it worth it all these years of having him on my mind. Was I ever on his? Was it worth all these years waiting for him, even though I don’t even know him.
Is it crazy to hope for something to happen between us? Is it crazy to wonder if I’m going to bump into him and whether he will talk to me or just walk by and ignore me, is that crazy?
I just want one chance. I want it to be over once and for all. I want to get over this ever lasting crush and finally get the answers I need to move on.
(In case he’s seeing someone now (which idk) I don’t want to ruin his life so I’m not gonna do anything if that’s the case. I’m not a home wrecker.)
How can I get this chance?
I mean I just need one chance to stop wondering what it would feel like, but actually live it. I am so done with living inside my imagination. I want something to happen. But I don’t know how and what I can do for this to happen.
Can someone pls share their opinion on this. And if you were the guy in question how would you feel, would you be bothered by yet again another girl having a crush on you. That’s kinda hard to answer because we don’t know his real feelings, anyways.
Please share your thoughts I would like some advice on this. Or even how to get over someone like this.
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yeah I am dealing with the same problem.
There was a girl (my classmate) and those were the days when the preparation of the school function was going on. I she was doing a group dance with other girls and i was just looking at her all time. But suddenly she and an another boy started dancing together. which I can't control. So when I got home i texted her and told her all about me feeling (at that time things were not complicated and we talked with each other generally). Well her answer was she still wanna be friends but her actions were telling me something else. Well i sat at the last row and she sat at the at row regularly but after that day she would turn her chair the other way to talk with her friend behind and we would look each other( there were still many things like this) but i don't know whether she was just flirting with me or that was her true feelings, because that was the last year of school we spent together ( the corona year) usually the half of the year lockdown was there( after that she was moving to other school). When the lockdown started things getting started to go weird cos now she will not talk to me or respond to me in that way she was doing in the class room earlier. Then after many days i decided to say I love to you again but when I did she told one of her guy friend this and he told me not to annoy her and told me that she is already annoyed from me from before. After that I just sent her a text [ sorry if I ever annoyed ] and blocked her and deleted her number. But after that I was still thinking about her so i managed to get her no. from one of my friends and unblocked her and then i saw that she still has my number and she still replies to some of my status. This was not ok because I don't know why she still has my no. in her mobile unblocked. This was normal but things started to go wrong that day after 2.5 years, (from my concious mind i have tried my best to forget her but my deep inside my unconscious mind i still want to spend that time with her again.) after all this time i thought I must have forgotten her or have moven on but then i saw her in my dreams. one time it was ok but i am still seeing her in my dreams and i am thinking that she is also feeling the same as i am but i think that is just my imagination. i also don't know what to do. My mind says this is all your misunderstanding and my heart says just talk to once again.
I think i am struck in this loop unable to find a way to escape.
if you have somehow gone through this same phase what you have done please tell me.
i hope i will soon find a way to escape this loop 🥲
ReplyI completely understand what you are going through. I moved away from the city I used to live in, where we would go to school together. And I am back here again for vacation and I can’t help thinking about how much I would just love to run into him. I never confessed my feelings but it always leaves me wondering what would’ve happened and it’s something that drives you crazy. Because I can’t just text him maybe he has a whole new life and has forgotten that I even exist. I just hope to find an answer or get over him as soon as possible.
I also wish the same thing for you.
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be for the both of us. Maybe we were just supposed to learn something about ourselves from this. I guess we’ll just have to see what time brings us. Maybe for you it was a misunderstanding, but I don’t want to add to your overthinking.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Have a nice life, stranger.
Replyim crying
Reply