The letter I wish I could send my husband

Dear (future ex, probably) husband,

Don't you understand what you've done? Do you have so little foresight that you didn't understand what an accusation of DV would do to me, as unfounded as it was?

You knew about the vertigo; i had told you about it the day i came out of the hospital. You knew that a few glasses of wine felt like double the intake. Yet, you persuaded me to switch the cars, using the excuse that I was going to run errands before you woke up.

The moment we came back in the house, I'd like to know what compelled you to call 9-1-1. Was it the fact that you were high and had no clue what was going on? Was it all part of your plan (yes, i know how you told everyone who would listen that i was there due to alcohol withdrawal instead of the actual motive: an electrolyte imbalance) just to get rid of me? Was it because you were bored and wanted to see me squirm as usual, with no regards for consequences?

Regardless of your reason, I am now a hostage in my parent's home, with strict conditions to follow until my court date more than two months down the line. I can't set foot into my own house until then.

Funny how you slept soundly the whole night and only called the next day to remove all charges off of me, when i had begged you to do that immediately because I knew that the longer you waited to do so, the more difficult it would be to drop the charges. And what happened? You were told that it was too late.

So not only did you make a fool out of me, but you also told all our friends what a bad, bad person I was. For getting "so drunk" I lost all reason. For bitting you (you know it's bullshit; you were locked in the bathroom). For my parents and I yo want to attack you with a shovel (which we did not have) and then telling everyone that we tried to beat you with an empty coke can...

Meanwhile, knowing I had vertigo (which turned to labyrinthitis the 2 nights I spent in jail because of you stellar acting), you thought it would be sooooo funny to have all your family there for when I came to collect some essential stuff with a police escort (useless bunch). Your family made comments like " she's so drunk! Hasn't she learned her lesson???". I wasn't drunk. The last time I had alcohol in my system was the night you got me arrested for DV, although I hadn't touched you, or even yelled at you or said anything but how much I loved you.

I'll always remember that count police officer who though she was so cool that she told me " you are drunk ma'am! You have glassy eyes and you can't walk straight! You also smell like alcohol! I'll send you a letter because you are breaching your conditions. Woman! I have cried my eyes out for days, and you wonder why my eyes are glassy? I've had vertigo for over a week, and you wonder why I can't walk straight? And what you

Smell is clamato I had with dinner, plain stupid clamato. I asked you to test me 3 times, and 3 times you declined. My parents, who had spent the entire day with me asked you to do the same... You still declined you waste of sperm and egg.

So you orchestrated it all perfectly so you could keep one of my cats. The same way you'd kiss me and pet my hair while I was hospitalized the week before crying "my poor little wife! We were expecting so much of you! We'll get you the help you need". Yeah, I saw how much help you got me!

Also, accusing your tiny wife of DV against a bear like you is so effing dumb! You could flick me away with a single finger! When the lawyer saw the charges, he was like "you gotta be kidding me! These cops are morons". He isn't wrong: all the time you have hurt me, I hope they keep you up at night. Trust me when I say: people will know that you have accused me of what you've done to me for years.

Granted, you were seldom physically abusive, but you loved to psychologically torture me. Remember when we broke up and i wouldn't take you back? Remember the endless stalking you did? I never wanted to send you to jail over that. Damn, do ai ever regret not having you sent to a cold, humid jail cell like you did to me

You cat thief, remember one thing: Karma is real, and it is coming for your hairy ass. If there's one thing I vow, it's the following: in this lifetime, once this whole circus is over, I will hire the biggest ass hole divorce lawyer. And if i were to live again, i vow to never, ever fall for you under any circumstances, and to torture you until you draw in your last breath.

Love,

Your tiny wife whom you've tortured.