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I'm staring at this blank screen
tears in my eyes
who even am I
practically a fish out of water
i've lived here my whole life
but I can't call this home
so where do I go now
out of the country?
to hell?
maybe my home is in the needle
i used to cut myself
maybe I left it in my suicide letter
no, I think the concept of a home
was lost to me a long time ago
when my family betrayed my trust
retarded, liar, stupid, lazy, they said.
that shit still stays with me
at night when I'm lying in bed
The cuts on my arms are faded
but they're constant reminders
of the lonely retarded lazy stupid
idiotic weird unlovable bitch
that is me
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Your writing is beautiful. I know my empathy may not do much, but I’m sorry you are suffering. It’s hard to think life is worth fighting for when things are so bad. And it’s frustrating and annoying to hear people say, “just keep pushing! you’re going to be ok”. But you are worthy of a good fulfilling life. Again, maybe my word won’t mean much to you as a stranger but, you deserve good and I hope you get it soon.
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