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If people want me dead and to have me killed by getting blood on their hands, then they can go right the fuck ahead!
Can ask other people to do it but their still going to end up getting blood on their hands, along with those who want to kill me but won't do it themselves.
It makes zero fucking difference at this point because spilled blood is still on their hands.
I had already mentioned that i wish I had died giving birth anyways...
I have absolutely nothing left anymore and I've already lost alot. I'm not necessarily scared to fucking die but I would want to die in peace. I want to die quick, painless without any chance of survival and being revived.
I think I might have an idea where I'm going once I'm dead but i don't really know for sure. If there is an afterlife and places where "souls" go of course, i might end up in a place called "hell", "underworld" or "eternal damnation" whatever.
I'm just not a perfect human being but I try to do good and can only do my best to my abilities in this life. However, I'm done and fucking tired of life.
I don't feel the need to fucking prove to anyone anything and certainly don't feel the need to fucking broadcast how I'm a good person either. I know what the fuck I'm about. I know what i do and don't do.
I know who the fuck i am, I think and i know myself. Some people may think I'm a bad person, that's fine they can believe whatever the fuck they want and if it makes them sleep better at night.
Those who are religious may even think I'm a sinner and that's fucking fine too.
I don't kiss fucking ass and suck up to anyone for anything. I'm done trying to please every fucking body at this point and being a people pleaser. I do not have the fucking energy, time and care to give a shit about complete strangers who really haven't done fuck all for me in this life but purely judge and criticize me.
Any fucking ways...
Once I'm dead and If i do end up in a place called "hell", there's a chance I'll be seeing every single fucking person who has ever intentionally harmed me there too, when their day comes. Wouldn't that be fucking interesting and such a coincidence but at least a funny one at that.
If there's a "God" watching every detail of everything that's happening in the world, don't people think "God" knows all the truth and all bullshit about everything? Doesn't "God" know people's hearts and true intentions at the end of the day?
It all depends what people believe in honey! These people who may believe in "God" can pray, ask for forgiveness, go to their little church or whatever the fuck it is where they worship. It doesn't guarantee they be going to a place called "Heaven","Paradise" or whatever place where the "good souls" go to either.
Every religious group and culture has different beliefs in terms of what happens in the afterlife or what happens to the soul when the body dies.
I may be fucked when I'm dead i don't know but those people could possibly get fucked themselves too in the afterlife.
Wouldn't that be the biggest kind of fuck you.
Bonne chance! ;)
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Yes, God knows all, sees all. He’s not disapproving of you any more or less than religious people.
ReplyExactly part of my point. "God" apparently sees and knows all, right? So, that would mean "God" knows me, my truth, my heart and my intentions. "God" knows what i do, what i don't do, what is being done towards me deliberately and unintentionally.
"God" knows what happens to me every step of the way throughout this life basically.
Anyways...
I just don't know for sure in all this and it isn't really much of an importance or concern for me, if "God" disapproves of me or not. I'm just trying to live, survive by doing my best out of my life and circumstances without hurting anyone in the end. Try to be the best version of myself to my abilities. However, life can be exhausting on an emotional and psychological level.
Thanks for your comment.
Reply