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Being female is the inescapable part of my life. By societal standards Im a broken woman, I dont get why every woman wakes up and decide to put on makeup, painfully remove all their body hair and loose eyebrow strands, all wear the same hairstyle, it makes me feel alienated. Its like im the only one who can see how culture duped an entire sex into performing stupid meaningless rituals to confirm their femaleness to the world, as if secondary sex characteristic isnt already a thing you can notice. I cant fathom why any woman willingly goes along with this dumb bullshit for their entire lifetime, why they get scared over looking manly or gaining too much muscle. Why the ideal female body is supposed to be soft big butt and breasts with skinny teenage girl arms. It's a horror in every way. having a hole in you the stronger side of the species can stick their bits into and you cant do nothing about it, and then a thing materializes inside you and sucks out your nutrients as it grows changing your biochemistry forever, until it finally exits tearing your genitals apart and possibly killing you.
Fucking cruel on gods part. just why? there is nothing this terrifying about being a man. men are relatively in control of their own bodies. to be female is a degrading punishment, a reminder that your life and the body you inhabit never belonged to you. infertility is the only way to assume some power over it and even then you stuck having an unclosable gash that males fight over like rodents. Its grotesque. I wouldnt wish being female on anybody. I dont belong anywhere in this world and I'll never be a straight male able to defend myself and my woman. I'll die in the body of a weak tiny girl with no family and no wife. I'll never be respected in the workplace and treated like everyone else with not being constantly laughed at and put down. I cant fight a man and stand up for myself no matter how bad I want to because I am short and naturally not as strong as them no matter how much effort I put into muscle training. My eyes are open to how ugly this world is. as much as I hate god for it I understand I am the flawed one who must be disposed of here.
I have never been raped or anything like that, I felt this way ever since I was old enough to recognize my own gender. I can't confide in any of my female friends about this because they'll all think I'm a crazy delusional feminist, and I would agree. They are all able to live on without having these thoughts every day and I for some reason can't get rid of it. I don't hate men, they can be funny kind and great people. I'm envious of how they aren't effected by any of this, and form entire subcultures based around hating women and get cool points with their bros for it. I'm envious of how they actually look out for one another, can have pain free sex, and be parents without experiencing physical trauma to their bodies. I wish that there were no differences between the sexes.
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