I wish you would apologize

So the anniversary finally passed without me giving it much heartache. But that doesn't mean I'm better now. I just wish you would finally apologize. Just own up to it. Maybe if you did, this could all stop hanging from my heart. Pulling and ripping at what I thought was a hard muscle, and making it increasingly difficult to breathe by the day. 5 years. And it's still weighing down on my chest. But at this point, I think it's just that apology. I'm still moving on, and still trying to figure out how to navigate an unfair world with integrity intact. But that apology keeps holding me back. It dangles in front of me like a mirage in the desert. I've been hoping for something I know I'll never reach. Even if it did come, and one day you admitted your faults, I don't even know what I would say...