disturbing poem

I wish I could live in a box in some filthy alley in some chaotic city,

while maggots chew holes through my feet.

I wish I had a chance to live a life awful and shitty,

and sleep on wet tatter and sheet.

I wish to be pummeled with rocks, to be hated and scorned and reviled,

to be laughed at like Homer Simpson,

to be battered and splattered and bruised and abused and defiled-

blinded by my own filthy crimson.

I want to be treated like the scum at the bottom of the well,

the great grimey pit that is society.

I want to be hated like the plagues that rose out of Hell

to punish the world in all its impiety.

I want to be humbled and crumbled, and spat on,

and rot in prison like a murderer, like Ed Gein.

I want to be maimed and defamed and terrorized and shat on,

and to have a knife rattle over my spine.

I’m the lowest of the low, and to the pit of Hell I should go,

so please rip out my hair and yank off my toes!

I’m murderer in spirit and everyone with a soul had better know,

so please gouge out my eyes and crumple my nose!

I’m a thousand times worse than a mass murderer or a serial rapist or a baby-molester!

I’m a fat fool, a worthless weakling, a pig-nosed perv,

And I deserve to be locked in a stone-cold jail cell and left to fester!

and I would hang myself if I only had the nerve!