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How do I get someone to stop doing something I'm uncomfortable with
10 months ago · 3 · Need Advice, +5
244
I just really like my bubble
But I met this girl. She's very touchy. She likes to put her arms around me and link arms, and also holding hands. Tbh I.. I hate skinship. I used to be very mysophobic, but I forced myself to do a lot of skinship with people to... Heal(?) My mysophobia. And it kinda works? I still don't like skinship, but I do have better tolerance towards it.
But as time passes on, I realized that I don't need to force myself to 'like' skinship, so I stopped doing it. So I stopped getting used to it
But here comes a new challenger I guess. This one time she put her arms around me, I did sternly(is what I was going for, idk if it went through) say "don't touch me" and she just brushed it off 😪 "ah, it's just a bit of touch baby sayang(translate to 'love' or 'my dear')" so I also continued to tell her off in a joking manner "you're invading my privacy huhu" and she didn't reply😔🤌
I guess another thing to mention is that... Even if they're an old lady, I don't really like it when someone calls me 'dear' or 'babe' or.. just anything like that tbh. Also, context, I'm a girl too. Before someone pulls out the "you're homophobic" card on me, nah. No. I'm aroace 😪
I just want to know what I can say to get it through to her. I can tolerate it, but... I'd rather not
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I'd just tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable. That's exactly how I feel when guys try doing that stuff to me. It feels weird.
ReplyWhat about being more assertive?
Replyyou should not be forced to do this, you should go at your own pace. have you spoken to this person about how it makes you uncomfortable? i would recommend trying to talk to her and maybe just say "hey, i am feeling a little bit uncomfortable with all of the touching, can you please be patient with me and support me with this, i want you to be there helping me", obviously you don't have to listen to what i say, but if you choose to take this advice, i hope it works out well for you, be sure to give us updates (if that is okay with you obviously ) :) have a good night/day
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